In The Darkest Light
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: Cold hands. Red wine. Cigarettes. Fuel for blood lust. And a childhood displayed in the light of darkness. A story about how the present drags the past Sara thought she had buried into the glare of modernity.
1. Chapter 1

Hope you all like it please review.

If it feels familiar it's because this is a reworked version of a one-shot I'd previously posted. I had the idea to extend it into a full story but I wanted to change it a bit to fit better, so bear with me this is going somewhere... I promise!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(1) **

The dimly lit bar was almost empty acting as a refuge for those who had nowhere else to go on a Wednesday afternoon. Bon Jovi played over the speakers; every so often the drunk would burst into song causing the almost sober to follow suit, because I was just too tempting to belt out "Living on a Prayer". The CSIs sat at the table being consumed by darkness and empty glasses.

"I can't believe the sorts of trouble kids get themselves into these days...it scares me to think about the things Lindsey gets up to when I'm not around." Catherine referenced the case they had worked that day- a fourteen year old had died in attempt to cover up what had been one stupid mistake on his friend's part.

"Well...think about the sorts of trouble we got ourselves into, isn't it just the same?" Sara asked in a melancholic way peeling a corner of the label on her beer bottle using her thumb nail, she kept her eyes focused on the task in hand not wanting to see the glances the team were throwing her way. Catherine looked around the table but everyone shrugged not knowing what to say or how to explain the new found desolation that had seemed to take over the brunette's mood.

"Kids these days just have way too much access...guns...booze...What sort of trouble did you get yourself into Sara?" Nick piped up unable to believe that his workaholic and, mostly, sensible friend would have made the sorts of mistakes they saw every day.

"Oh...the worst kind..." Sara smirked taking a swing from her beer.

"Do tell." Catherine probed but Sara just glanced up with a conflicted expression unable to figure out whether it was a good idea to share the skeletons in her closet.

"Okay...I'll go first..."Catherine announced; picking up her mojito she finished what was left in the glass."I'd sneak into the worst clubs in town...there was always a guy at the bar who would slip me and my friends drinks in exchange of...favours..." Catherine smiled sly looking up from her lashes at the group.

"Ohh..." Nick laughed "...whenever I was caught a little worse for wear I would just remind the cops that my dad was the DA...worked until one night I crashed my dad's car..." The group chuckled at the thought.

"Greg, how about you?" Catherine asked guessing that the guy who had previously been the DNA tech with crazy hair and a questionable list of interests ranging from latex to psychics, she had the feeling that he'd probably gotten up to all sorts of trouble in his teenage years. But to her surprise he simply shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't really get into that much trouble...kept my head down...to be honest." He responded quietly.

"Langston?" Nick asked their newest team member.

"Oh...just harmless geek fun." The older man said with a smile and twinkling eye.

"Come on Sara...it's your turn..." Catherine egged her on, but Sara still just politely smiled at the group hoping that they would understand that there were parts of her life she wished to keep private. They eventually gave up, recognising that Sara had never been particularly open about her past, or her life in San Francisco.

"Well...I better head home...got a teenager to check up on..." Catherine smiled fishing her handbag out from under the table. After Catherine had left the others bought a few more rounds but soon enough the alcohol settled in their blood stream as a permanent feature causing Nick and Langston to shared a cab and head home.

"Then there were two..." Greg chuckled, his voice husky and low causing a shiver to swim down Sara's spine. She turned to him and smiled, it had been strange being back in Vegas after so long but spending time with Greg it felt as if she had never left. They had a rapport that she hadn't seemed to match with anyone else.

"You know...the only reason I didn't get into trouble when I was a kid is because my mother kept tabs on where I was almost all hours of the day..." Greg shrugged.

"She loves you Greg, she just wanted you to be safe." Sara said softly.

"Yeah...you're right...but sometimes...I just wanted to be a kid...Do the things other kids did." Greg shrugged again thinking about his childhood. He thought of how hard it had been to tell his mother when he moved to work in the field. The speech she had given him about the dangers "out there" and how she couldn't lose him still floated through his mind every so often.

"...I used to drink...a lot..." Sara spoke, not looking Greg in the eye. "I just wanted to get out...I couldn't wait to be older...so I could get away from the foster homes, the strangers pretending to be my parents...then one night...I woke up, there I was next to this guy...fifteen years old...I had no idea who he was...how I'd gotten there...that was the day I realised that it needed to stop..." Sara shrugged picking up her drink, she still hadn't looked Greg in the eye; the feelings of disgust and fear were all too fresh in her memory.

"Hey..." Greg took her hand in his own "you got out of that place...and look at you now...no would ever know that was you..."

"And I sobered up...sorted myself...and the next thing I know I'm in my thirties with nothing but my job to keep me company..." Sara gave a humourless chuckle, a bittersweet smile spreading across her face. She still hadn't met Greg's eye.

"Sara...Are you and Grissom okay?" Greg asked, his voice clearing telling her that he was unsure of himself. She glanced up at him, her dark eyes had clouded over and it was almost as if she didn't know where she was, but it only lasted a few seconds and she looked back down at her hands; she had been fidgeting with her wedding ring the whole time pulling it off and then putting it back on.

"I'm not going to lie to you Greg...things have been better..." Sara thought of her last conversation with her husband; she had pleaded him to move back to Vegas but he had refused, things were settling down in Paris, he was gaining recognition as a dynamic lecturer his classes were slowly but surely filling up. Noticing her glazed over look Greg squeezed her hand tightly.

"You know...I never thought I'd like being back in Vegas..." She smiled warmly at him. After they had finished their drinks they sat awkwardly for a moment neither one of them knowing what to say next.

"Well...we should head home...it's getting late...or early...still not used to nights..." Sara laughed; a laugh that Greg could tell was genuine.

"Let me walk you home." He offered, reminding Sara of the gentleman that he had always been. She nodded in response and began gathering her things together.

They walked together in the mid day heat both of them noting how bizarre it was to be drunk in the middle of the day when other people were settling into the sobriety of normal working hours. Having reached Sara's apartment Greg turned to face her.

"Look...Sara, if you ever want to talk...about anything...then don't hesitate to call...it doesn't matter when...just pick up the phone...I'm always going to be on the other side." He spoke slowly hoping that his speech wasn't too slurred and that Sara wasn't too drunk.

"Thank you Greg." She squeezed his hand tighter in her own grip and smiled at him; thinking that perhaps being back in Vegas wasn't that bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Hope you all like it please review.

I forgot to say before that this is set post 'Neverland'.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(2) **

The light of the camera flashed at three second intervals as Greg stood over the body and the littered floor. The air was heavy with humidity and the smell of dusty gravel as freak rainfall had swept over the city like a long lost companion only to disappear again. Sara crouched by the body wearing a frown as her dark eyes studied what was before her. She glanced up at her friend with a look of disgust before turning her attention back to the body.

"You want to run it?" She asked in a low voice as she slowly stood up her hands curled up into fists as if prepared for a fight. And in a sense she was. That was what they did every day. Fight. Fight for victims who lost their lives for the wrongs reasons. For the people who survived. But it wore them down- all of the fighting- all of the false hope. No one could deny that the sight of a body with over thirty stab wounds after a double shift stirred a sense of resentment towards humanity within them.

Sara attempted to brush aside the fatigue of facing death every day but a small breeze did nothing to remove the sense of desperation from her skin she sensed that would not happen. As she looked up at Greg she wondered when they had both become so jaded. When had they both stopped thinking they were making a difference.

When had they started believing their work was extraneous?

"He looks well dressed, probably at the club." Greg started indicating to one of the brick walls that encased them in their current location before looking towards the ground. "He stepped out for a cigarette or maybe a phone call. His wedding band and watch are missing. We won't know until David's here but I bet you any amount of money his wallet and phone are missing too- robbery, gone wrong perhaps?" He shrugged his shoulders before trying to put himself in the place of the victim.

It had been a warm night like any other and the neon had been as bright as ever with the music would have been playing at deafening levels in the surrounding clubs. He tried to imagine the feeling of foreboding that had flooded his body as the knife left his mark on him the first time. He could even feel the small amount of hope that perhaps someone would intervene. Someone would notice. Greg could almost imagine the people wandering past the alleyway where they were located not registering the dying man, the decomposing body that laid there.

"If you want to stop someone- you stab them twice... three times maybe. Why waste time and risk getting caught by stabbing him over two dozen times?" Sara pointed out him with a raised eyebrow with a tone that suggested she wasn't criticising him but simply thinking out loud as she studied the blood splatter on the walls.

"It would suggest a crime of passion..." Greg hypothesised. He wondered when he had started simply using such terms without giving what he was describing a second thought. Perhaps he had been doing this job for far too long.

"Since when has passion meant leaving someone to bleed to death?" She sighed with discontent shifting her weight on her feet her eyes focused on the body.

"Sorry I'm late...There was a triple in Pahrump." David announced apologetically as he approached the three of them breathlessly with small steps. A bead of sweat on his forehead spoke of the heat he had endured on his drive back to Las Vegas. He quickly began working checking the pockets of their victim. "No wallet...no phone, it looks like his pockets were cleaned out."

David lifted the victim's shirt carefully astounded by the number knife wounds that were covering his torso as he took his liver temp. "Liver temp puts TOD at one am."

The sound of heels clicking against the floor caught their attention, tearing their eyes away from the scene before them and as they looked up they saw Jim Brass heading towards them with a stern expression they had all gotten used to seeing. In one hand he had his small note book and a pen clutched and in the other disks carefully wrapped in a plastic cover.

"I spoke to the owner of the place next door claimed the vic. wasn't there last night, they closed at ten pm because they were short staffed. But she gave us the surveillance tapes from the East facing cameras. I'm going to speak to the club." He announced unceremoniously to his colleagues as his eyes scanned what lay before him.

After silently saying goodbye to David the pair followed Brass out of the claustrophobic ally way into the road. Traffic and people moved past at a steady place oblivious to what had taken place a few feet away from them. Nothing slowed Vegas down. Nothing stopped the city from churning on with disregard to those that had lost their lives in this very place.

Light flooded through the glass front of Mix while the usual bright neon lights lit up the circular bar at the centre remained off. Daylight provided images of obscure furniture and awkward spaces but with night, came the suave sophisticated crowds making their strange surroundings desirable to the masses. The silence was replaced by the sound of bass lines and drum solos that set the pace for everything that happened inside.

"Detective Brass, LVPD." The older man introduced himself in an offhand way to the person standing behind the bar while the CSIs stood behind him waiting for an indication that they could have a look around with a more critical eye.

"What can I do for you detective?" The man behind the bar asked continuing to place clean wine glasses aside not acknowledging the seriousness of the situation.

"You know anything about the body that dropped in the ally way?" Brass maintained his brusque manner not caring if he didn't come across as approachable. He often reminded himself being friendly was not a part of his job description- and comforted himself with this fact when in the interrogation room.

Greg had always found it fascinating the watch the detective work. Jim Brass had a way of getting under people's skin with very few words and a knowing expression. As much as he enjoyed working with him Greg couldn't deny that occasionally he would find the man rather unnerving. It had surprised him at how well Grissom and Brass had gotten on considering they were two different men of two different minds.

"No." The response to the question was short but the expression on the bar tender's face said more than any words could.

"Do you remember this guy?" Brass placed a picture of the corpse on the bar hoping that the sight of the body would spark some form of a reaction but there was nothing. The man's blank expression and blank eyes surveyed the image before glancing up at the three of them.

"He was here last night."

"You won't mind if we have a look around, would you?" Sara spoke for the first time since entering the bar, providing no option by giving a statement rather than a question. Her dark eyes warned him that pushing her today of all days would not have been a good idea.

"Go ahead." They were offered another quick answer while the man remained focused on the task in hand still.

The CSIs divided and began taking in the room inch by inch looking for the smallest traces of a crime. The dark floors and the furniture made their job slightly more difficult but they still persisted swabbing spills and stains, using the ALS to spot even the smallest drop of blood. But as they attempted to comb over every inch of the bar they soon realised that there was nothing to find. They had come up with evidences of spilt red wine and bodily fluids but nothing more.

"Nothing" Sara sighed with frustration as she stood facing Greg, whose expression reflected the disappointment she was feeling. In that moment they both realised that it was going to be a long night, exhaustion washing over them like the icy chills of winter.

"Not a thing."


	3. Chapter 3

Hope you all like it please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(3) **

The drive back from the crime scene was silent as the two of them indulged in their thoughts and their own problems. The mid-day heat settled in as the sun shone down on the city like a reminder of the natural world- something that was easy to forget in a city like Las Vegas. The traffic slowly filled the streets as people attempted to get around to their day time jobs before the neon took over. Greg's quiet was disturbed and his senses were awoken by Sara's hand slamming against the horn of the department issue Denali.

"Jerk." Sara shouted at a diver who could obviously not hear her as her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"See your driving hasn't improved yet." He smirked, throwing her a teasing look.

"It's not my driving that's to blame." Sara responded through gritted teeth.

"Of course not it's everyone else." Greg continued mocking her but as soon as Sara sent the death stare his way he found himself being involuntarily silenced. He knew that if he annoyed her now and put her in a bad mood he'd been the one dealing with the tired, overworked and pissed off Sara for the rest of the day. She parked the truck effortlessly in the empty space in the LVPD parking lot and climbed out with a frown still decorating her features.

"Hey." Greg said softly pulling Sara towards him wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "I was joking about you being a terrible driver."

"Greg-" She attempted to cut him off but he continued talking.

"I mean apart from the speeding, running red lights and general lack of breaking, you're a wonderful driver."

"Hey." She punched his arm pulling free of his grip with a throaty laugh and her signature Sidle half smile.

"Abuse! Abuse!" He shouted drawing the attention of the people surrounding them and provoking Sara into hitting him again.

They walked through the sliding doors with smiles that anyone in the building would have struggled to understand. But they held on to the small feelings of elation that minimised the blow they knew they would experience as soon as they got back to work.

Not long after Sara and Greg found themselves sat in the break room with steaming mugs of coffee and a case file between them. The rest of the lab seemed to be content with its work as people rushed around with files, results and tired expression. Every so often Greg would cast a glance at the woman beside him attempting to word his concerns for her out loud.

"Sara, are you alright?" He asked attempting to be casual as his glanced through the scraps of paper Brass had handed them before disappearing.

"I'm fine why?" Sara eyed him suspiciously her voice low as if they were sharing some kind of a secret.

"No reason, just, wanted to see how you were." He spoke shyly, and she had known him long enough to know he was lying. Greg had kept the fact that after their conversation the other night he had become worried about his friend. Alarmed that perhaps a mix of the job and the stress her long distance marriage was placing on her would burn her out.

"We've been together all day Greg." She smiled at him ignoring his unease hoping that he would not push the matter further. His smile was small and nervous but as she placed her hand on his arm as reassurance he became more confidence.

"So what do we have?" Greg offered another topic of conversation knowing that Sara would come to him like she had done so many times before if there was anything wrong.

"Well... Hodges analyzed the trace from the victims jacket... traces of alcohol, mineral oil, sodium cetearyl sulphate, glycerine and mother of pearl powder. The ingredient for 'Mother-of-Pearl Anti Scarring cream' but this stuff is available everywhere, drug stores, other retailers and not to mention the internet." She shrugged handing Greg the results.

"But it gives us something... we know the killer probably has a scar of some sort." He replied attempting to look for the silver lining.

"Or it's just incidental transfer." Sara grumbled taking a long sip from her mug.

"Oh my pessimistic Sara, do not admit defeat yet." he smiled at her leaning back in his chair attempting to imitate the laid back hopeful Greg had once been in his skin.

"Autopsy's ready." She announced standing up leaving him to follow suit.

The hall way leading up to autopsy seemed to always be dark no matter how much lighting was used there was a lingering distorted vision that never gave up. The only sounds that lingered in the air were the sound of their footsteps hitting the floor and whistling. The experience was surreal. It was like being a part of the horror film. But it was reality. And in reality the people that had gotten killed don't simply go and wash the blood away. In reality the killers aren't really sweet people who play guitar in Led Zeppelin cover band on the weekends. The killers are generally sadistic, damaged people who had achieved a sense of satisfaction from having stolen life that belonged to someone else.

The two CSIs stepped through the door into a room been consumed by the tails of death and the smell of decomposing bodies. Doc Robbins glanced up at them with a wary expression. It amazed them both how even after so many years of being on the job he had maintained a fairly well functioning, happy life. Unlike so many of their colleagues he'd been married for over twenty years, he had children that he adored. They both wondered what it was that kept him going. What was his medicine to the constant dull ache of actuality?

"What do you have doc?" Greg asked in a stern voice not thinking any other tone would have been appropriate for the situation.

"A lot of rage- I counted just over two dozen stab wounds. Otherwise he was a healthy male in his late forties. The wounds however do have a story to tell...the knife used has a very distinct shape, short blade and the bruising surrounding the stab wounds suggest a narrow handle. I don't want to speak too soon but appears to be a pen knife." Doc Robbins paused for a moment to see if what he'd just said meant anything to either one of them but their blank expression told him that they had not yet found the murder weapon. "I've sent a blood sample to tox to make just in case."

"Do we have an ID?" Sara asked hopefully that perhaps they'd at least one lead to work with.

"Now that you ask, yes we do. Louis Chambers, retired cop, San Francisco, SFPD." Both Greg and Sara felt a small amount of hope bubbling up inside them as they realised that they might have something to work with.

"He's a bit young to have retired isn't he?" Greg couldn't help but say the thought that just come into his mind.

"Doing this job, it's never too young to retire." Doc Robbins commented apathetically. "I wish I had... I could have been sipping Pina Colada's in the Caribbean right now."

"Thanks Doc." Sara offered him a small smile before they disappeared back into the bright lights and noise of the lab.

"You know him?" Greg asked as they walked AV.

"I'd heard of him, he worked a different shift. Spent the best part of three years working a prostitution ring, the case ate him up. Someone higher up advised him to retire early. I never met him though." Sara replied her eyes focused clearly on the path ahead of her, her tone clearly measured.

"What happened to the case?" As much as he wanted to push for more, he knew that pushing had never worked with Sara. She preferred to be in control. And over the years he'd gotten used to that.

"It turned cold, the ring moved, the evidence disappeared. There was nothing more SFPD could do any more; it was in the hands of the next city." Sara swallowed the lump that was building up in her throat. She knew lying to Greg was wrong. Sara knew that he would catch her out- but she still had time.

Sara took a deep breath and counted back from ten- it was time to pretend.

It was time to bury her past, and the bricks that had built her.


	4. Chapter 4

Hope you all like it please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(4) **

Archie leant back in his chair messaging the crick in his neck with a satisfied smile as Greg and Sara made their way into the space of his lab.

"So what do we have Arch?" Greg asked glancing at the large screen ahead of them attempting to figure out what it was that they had before them.

"A suspect" Archie beamed at them before slowly moving forward typing furiously on his key board bringing up fuzzy surveillance images. "So... I've got to say I think I need to go to 'Mix' more often considering the hot bodies that seem to drink there... about three hours in I saw a rather hot blond-"

"Archie, I know it's been a while but...can we focus on the case?" Sara said in a monotone voice before turning to smile at the AV tech in order not to hurt his feelings. He was a nice guy from what she knew of him- laid back and friendly unlike many of the other slightly more high strung lab techs that had found themselves residing in Las Vegas.

"Well... Here's your victim coming out of the club around midnight. Now if you look at the tapes from the other camera you can see he seems to just be having a cigarette break from some wild partying... until... this woman approaches him. And after they've shared a smoke they go back inside together. I froze the frame, enhanced the image and ran it through facial recognition..."

Sara could feel heart pause for a second as her eyes registered the image before her. She gripped the back of Archie's chair tighter hoping that Greg wouldn't notice her change in composure as she attempted to even out her breathing. Her chest fluttering as irregular as butterfly wings in those early summer days.

"And I got a hit... here is a RAP sheet for you." Archie handed Greg a paper copy of what he'd found.

"Solicitation, drug possession and handling stolen property." He read the highlights out loud his eyebrows raised.

"Doesn't sound like murder was the next step?" The AV tech asked with intonation. Greg turned to Sara to see her glazed over expression, she seemed to be oblivious to the conversation that they were having.

"Sara..." He said softly placing his hand on her arm causing her to flinch turning to face him with wide eyes. "You okay? I thought we'd lost you there."

"I'm fine, sorry." She cleared her throat giving Greg a small smile.

"No need to say sorry..." Greg beamed back at her hoping that it would be enough to get Sara back to her usual self.

"I'm going to take this information to Brass and have him run down- Michelle Clearborne. Thanks Archie." Greg announced eyeing Sara carefully. The sound of her name added to the further constriction of her chest but she kept her eyes on the board in front of her not wanting to look into Greg's critical eye for the fear of him reading her mind.

"I...really need a cigarette break." She sighed as she let go of Archie's chair but appeared to still be slightly shaky on her feet as she disappeared out of the door waving quickly over her shoulder to them both.

Cars steadily moved in and out of the LVPD parking lot letting exhaust fumes linger in the air like a trap of pollution. The smell of gasoline was like an old friend to Sara's senses as she stood leaning against the cool wall of the building taking steady drags of her cigarette. A part of her wanted to let the tears threatening to fall escape past her barriers but she couldn't. She hadn't cried about what had happened. And she realised that she didn't want to. All of those thoughts and feelings had been locked away somewhere that no one would ever be able to reach them. But Sara knew well enough to know that as this case played out that perhaps the consequences of what happened over twenty years ago may follow.

"Hey..." Greg's voice brought her back to reality, back to the charade and the role of oblivious participant that she needed to play.

"Hi." She turned to him with the brightest smile she could muster offering him a cigarette that he gratefully took leaning towards the flickering lighter in her outstretched hand.

"I've missed our cigarette breaks... I thought you'd quit." Greg offered a topic of conversation not used to the sense of uneasiness between them. They had always had a great rapport- from the moment they had met they had just clicked and from then on everything in their relationship seemed to come naturally.

"What Grissom doesn't know, won't hurt him." Sara smirked at him taking another drag from her cigarette her eyes not leaving his their gaze sharing more secretes than either one of them would ever know.

"So go on Ms Sidle what else is it that you've been hiding from your beloved husband?" He teased enjoying their regular flirtatious encounters returning.

"Well, I really...really...don't like baseball. When I was 7 I had to read a story I wrote in class about my pet fish 'Bobby' out to the rest of the class and I started crying. Tequila makes me take my clothes of...and that...Nick is my favourite Jonas Brother. You won't tell will you?" She winked at him.

"Tequila Tuesday? In exchange for my silence?" Greg offered with a smirk but before Sara had a chance to respond someone began yelling in their direction to get their attention.

"Oi Turner! Hooch! Are we going to work this case or what?" Brass shouted at them from across the car park indicating that their break was over.

Sara and Greg climbed into their Denali following Brass through the congested roads of Las Vegas as anticipation steadily increased as they got closer and closer to their destination. They had gone from the glitz and glamour of the strip to the dangerous area surrounding Balzar Avenue. The houses were small, some with boarded up windows, most with unmaintained gardens. Graffiti seemed to be a common feature of the area covering almost ever blank canvas offered by the residential neighbourhood.

Their truck and the police vehicles slowly crept through the roads making turns into streets that almost mirrored the one they had previously been driving down. They reached their destination another rundown house in a rundown area. But one that perhaps harboured a killer. The grass in the front garden was over grown and broken old furniture decorated the space like abstract art. The front windows were boarded up stopping the sun light getting in and the truth of what occurred behind closed doors from getting out.

Brass rapped his knuckles loudly against the peeling green paint of the front door announcing that the LVPD were paying a visit. But there was no response. He turned back to the backup officers and the CSIs with a grim expression before knocking once more giving the occupants a second chance. But still there was nothing- no reply. He stepped out of the way and watched as the door was broken down splinters of wood flaking from the frame.

A man made his way down the stairs a tattoo of a scorpion dominating the skin on his neck, aggressively visible for all of the people that happen to cross his path. He started at them with a blank expression feeling no sense of threat from the armed police officers standing before him.

"I hope I'll be getting compensation for that door." He said coldly.

"We're here for Michelle Clearborne." Brass responded not bothering to respond his remark. They were there for a reason and he had no intention of letting that slip away.

"Shelley." He shouted down the hallway turning away from them disappeared back up the stairs.

Through the back door a thin woman with dark hair appeared. Her expression changed very quickly as her eyes registered the reason she had been called back into the house. The thought to run came into her mind but she knew that she wouldn't be able to out run them. And even if she did- where would she go?

So with a sense of hopelessness she approached the police officers handing herself over one catching her eye. The name on her vest confirmed her suspicions- 'Sidle'. She had only ever met one Sidle and that was years ago...

Sara felt the stress of the situation crawl through her blood stream her whole body tensed up when faced with Michelle. Her fingers were curled up in fists, a steady amount of pain trickling down her spine. She wanted to say something but she couldn't seem to muster the words- and what would she say?

What would be discreet but still enough?

All of the years she had been trying to escape were evident in the blue eyes of the frail woman that stood in front of her.


	5. Chapter 5

Hope you all like it please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(5) **

Sara swallowed the lump in her throat and waited for the accusations to come to light, the screaming from someone who felt betrayed. But there was nothing. No such music filled her ears. The story just simply unravelled in her eyes. Michelle looked broken. She seemed exhausted. The girl Sara had known would never have handed herself over like that- she never would have lost faith in what she had. Being in a countless number of foster homes did that to you, learning to live in a system, just being another file, another number. But never had Michelle given up hope. She had reached her hand out to Sara for a friendship that meant everything to a broken girl of thirteen.

But no longer were they thirteen.

Life had taken its toll. It was clear for them both that things had most certainly changed since they were that age.

The heat flooded through the house like water in sandcastles as Sara and Greg began looking around for evidence of the murder once Michelle had been taken into custody. With the amount of litter and clutter that covered almost every available surface they realised how hard it would be to identify things that would be relevant evidence to the case.

"Sara, I think I've got something." Greg called her over to the small writing desk he was standing beside. In his hands an open, tattered day planner that had been soaked through more than once.

"What is it?" She asked reading over his shoulder in a way she knew he hated.

"A day planner, have a look at yesterday." Greg pointed to the day that had just passed them.

"Louis Chambers. Mix. Twelve thirty." She read the scrawled notes out loud.

Sara could feel her stomach turn and tie up in knots as all of the links she had attempted to smother with time were drawing lines through the present like clouds in the skies that covered them. She squeezed Greg's shoulder congratulating him on his find before turning to continue searching for more evidence. Sara could feel her heart beat in her head as she attempted to convince herself that the Michelle she knew was not capable of murder.

Michelle sat in the back of the police car her eyes squinting against the sun light, the feeling of the breeze streaming through the cracked window hitting her face. She leant her head against the back of the seat and recalled the expression on Sara's face when they had met eyes for the first time in twenty years. The confusion, the panic and the desperation in Sara's eyes had pleased her to some extent but the sense of betrayal had not dulled. She knew only too well how capable Sara Sidle was of hiding from her responsibilities and letting people down. Sara had gotten out, she had gone to school and never looked back at how the rest of them were surviving, whether the rest of them had gotten out of the system as unscathed as her.

Not that any of that mattered now.

Michelle consoled herself in the fact that Sara could be useful for once as she was escorted from the car into an interrogation room. She imagined that other suspects probably would have been unnerved by the confines of the four walls that were holding them captive. But after years of being trapped in undesirable situations she took in the peeling paint, the colours of the floor and the reflection of herself while tapping her nails against the table in a sad symphony of noise.

Sara and Greg returned from the scene with the small amount of evidence that linked Michelle to the murder of Louis Chambers wearing the heat like a second skin. They placed their kits down on the bench in the locker room removing their vests attempting to settle back into artificial cool of the lab.

"I've left Michelle in an interrogation room to stew for a bit, we can get started when you two are ready." Brass informed the two of them.

"We'll be right there." Sara responded to Brass as he turned to leave. With a wary sigh and a shared look they both acknowledged this was going to be a case that was going to have them spinning in circles to the very end.

Brass and Greg sat the table in front of Michelle while Sara stood at a distance leaning against the wall her arms crossed across her chest. It was a defensive position not that anyone had noticed- no one but Michelle.

"So how do you know Louis Chambers?" Brass started the interview with a basic question giving her the opportunity to show herself as someone honest or someone that would require some incentive to give truthful answers.

"I don't." She replied shortly stretching her arms out in front of her on the table picking at one of her fingernails.

"Well... this suggests you do." Greg placed the open day planner on the table.

"He was a client; it didn't mean I knew him." Her eyes turned to Sara and she could see the way her breath hitched slightly as the brunette attempted to keep her composure.

"Correct me if I'm wrong...but don't the types of clients you usually deal with want something a little more physical than conversation and sharing a drink?" Brass raised an eye brow pointing at stills from the surveillance cameras that were also on the table.

"Well...it's not my usual gig, I'm not going to lie, but if that's what he wants who am I to complain? I still get paid." Michelle smirked glancing down at the images before looking back up at Sara.

"What did you talk about?" Sara spoke the words like sand paper in her throat. She was forcing it to sound like another question related to the case but the both of them knew that there was more to it than that.

"He wanted to know about San Francisco." She leant back in her chair her gaze not faltering egging Sara to make her next move.

"San Francisco?" Greg asked but his attempts at calling Michelle's attention away from Sara didn't seem to work.

"Yes, he wanted to know about the guy I used to work for. He was working a case he said. There wasn't much I could tell him to be honest. I got too old... they sold me on." She explained her gaze clouded by a sense of sadness. "I left after a few drinks, around two am and called a cab. Check if the cab company."

They attempted to gain more information from Michelle but all of a sudden they found her lawyer stepping in and answering questions on her behalf with jargon. It became very clear that they had to cut her loose.

Sara stepped out in to the parking lot fishing out her lighter from her pocket as she made her way slowly to her usual spot. Her breath caught in her chest as she looked up to find Michelle's icy vision watching her.

"Thank you...for not saying anything..." Sara said slowly after shaking off her nerves.

"It's fine...Sara but you have to know I had nothing to do with this." Michelle seemed to be pleading with her. But for some reason Sara couldn't find herself agreeing that she did, years of working this job had told her trusting anyone always resulted in lost perspectives even when it's someone you think you know.

"I'm getting clean... I'm trying to get out of here. You understand don't you Sara? Needing to get away?" There was an edge to her voice when she asked the last question but Sara brushed aside her doubts.

"I do." She nodded her eyes focused on the unlit cigarette between her fingers.

Michelle didn't say a word, she squeezed Sara's arm quickly before stalking off in the direction of the exit leaving Sara reeling from the memories of the past that seemed to wash over her. She lit the cigarette and took the first drag to calm her nerves.

Perhaps Michelle was being honest- maybe she had nothing to do with the case, that this was all a coincident.

Perhaps everything was going to be fine...


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to the two people that are reading this...

Please review- if you like it and want me to continue.

Please review- if you think it's terrible and you want me to stop.

Either way feedback would mean a great deal to me- I'll love you forever!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(6) **

Sara stubbed out her cigarette tossing absentmindedly into the bin before heading instead to talk over what their next move with Greg. The lab was filled with people impatiently reading results and anxiously processing critical evidence. Every sheet of paper that the printers spat out could help or hinder the conviction of a murder or a rapist. It was then it dawned on Sara just how important every aspect of this lab was to providing justice to those that had been hurt, those that had lost someone far too early.

Greg sat at the break room table, a cup of coffee steaming away in his hands and a distant look in his eyes. Sara took a deep breath as she quietly approached him a part of her wanted to tell him everything that had happened. Greg had always been the first person she turned to when things were going wrong, when she felt as if her world was falling apart. He had always made her feel loved, cared for and wanted even before her husband had returned her affections. She sometimes found herself trusting Greg's judgement more than she trusted her own. She wanted to open up- lay herself out for him to judge. Not that he would. His open-mindedness and acceptance had always been something that she had admired about him. He would treat her differently- that was a given. If Sara was honest she was worried that he would no longer see her as the strong, defiant woman she had become but the scared teenage girl she had been.

But the words did not appear on her tongue so she took the seat opposite him where a steaming mug had already been placed waiting for her and gave him a small grateful smile. Taking a sip from the mug she was surprised by the mellow taste of camomile tea rather than bitter black coffee as she had expected.

"I know you like tea at the end of the day." Greg smiled at her in a way that made her chest flutter ever so slightly. He had learnt all of her likes and dislikes with such ease, and it still surprised her sometimes how much his small gestures meant to her.

"We have most certainly been friends too long." Sara smirked taking another gulp from her mug. "So what do you think we should do now?"

"Go home, come back and take a look at the case with fresh eyes." Greg suggested shrugging his shoulders not being able to think of any other moves they could possibly make at that time.

They both silently finished their mugs and went their separate ways into another afternoon in Las Vegas. Sara felt an odd sense of loneliness settle in as she stepped into her house- nothing but silence echoing from the walls greeting her to her life away from work. In an odd way it was like those first five years in Vegas; years full of forlorn nights and pining. But it was supposed to be different now. She had married the man she had been in love with for so many years- she had that ring that spoke of his commitment to her. And yet nothing seemed to have change. With a wary sigh she placed her bag down by the door and collapsed on the sofa. She let the exhaustion of the day wash over her and closed her eyes attempting to rest her mind.

It was the persistent sound of the door bell ringing that woke Sara from her state of unconsciousness. She opened the door rubbing her eyes to see Greg grinning at her a six pack of beer in one hand a bottle with inconspicuous clear liquid in the other.

"You look awful...glad I brought these..." He laughed stepping past her without any hesitation.

"Gee...thanks Greg." Sara rolled her eyes joining him on the sofa.

"You're welcome... just thought you could a little bit of a distraction." He smiled handing her a beer and indicating to what now she had recognised as a bottle of tequila.

"A distraction from what exactly?" Her expression turned suddenly dark in a way that he hadn't been expecting- her dark eyes unpredictably stormy.

"You know work...life...marriage- the usual suspects." Greg responded slightly taken aback by how personally she had taken what he'd said.

"I like my work...life is what is it...and let's not talk about my marriage." Sara leant back in her seat her head resting on the sofa her eyes focused on the ceiling. Again she found herself wanting to open up to Greg but conflicted by the things that she wanted to tell him.

"Fair enough" Greg opened a can of beer letting the taste linger in his mouth before he swallowed the liquid.

"So... have you met anyone?" Sara asked turning to him with a curious expression attempting to shift the focus away from herself.

"With the hours I work? I don't think so." He grumbled. "It's weird relationships change... people change... sometimes what you have isn't enough. Or at least it doesn't seem like enough."

"We all seem to be looking for someone to fill the empty space." Sara smiled squeezing his arms gently her eyes filled with affection. "You'll meet someone... I promise."

"What are you supposed to do when you find 'that someone'?" Greg asked anxiously.

"Hold on to them... Don't let them go because life's far too short to carry around a broken heart." She said softly- her words sounding as if they had come from experience.

"...What if you can't have them? What if they don't want you?" He shrugged his eyes on the floor refusing to meet Sara's gaze. They both felt an odd shiver run through them as they realised that this conversation was no longer hypothetically. They were talking about something tangible- something destructive.

"How do you know if haven't told them?" Sara did what she knew best and continued the charade pretending she didn't notice the way Greg's eyes were lingering on her asking her to give away more than a secret.

"I've tried... so many times...but I can't seem to be able to do it. It feels wrong." His honesty was beginning to hurt. He was sharing his inner most thoughts with Sara but from what he could tell she didn't reciprocate.

"Then how can they be 'that person' you're supposed to be with if it feels wrong?" Sara continued questioning him.

"Because no one has ever made me feel that way...no one makes me want to give everything up... And I would... I'd give up anything for her." Greg's eyes were watching her intently now, waiting for a response, a reaction from Sara to tell him something that he had been waiting years to hear.

"Who is she?" She asked him her eyes meeting his, her lip shaking ever so slightly from the words that just escaped them. They both knew the answer. They both knew who they were talking about.

"Someone I'll never have..." Greg shrugged backing down from the depth of their conversation deciding today was not the day he would hand Sara his heart just to have it broken.

The tension had slowly been growing between them after each question but neither one of them had stopped. They had felt a strange need to continue talking- to see how far they could go before they realised it was wrong. 

"Are you sure about that?" Sara asked as their eyes met. It was then that Greg could see every false hope, every ounce of loneliness that Sara had been attempting to hide from him, from everyone.

The door bell rang filling the space between them and the rest of the living room breaking their silence and the bubble they had created.

"That'll probably be the pizza I ordered..." Greg said in almost a whisper. He gave Sara one last look before picking himself up off the sofa and walking to the door.

When he'd returned he'd resumed his composure and his role as the best friend not wanting to shatter everything that they had both worked so hard in creating. But it hadn't been enough their conversation silently screamed the things that they had both been hiding about the state of their relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review!

Also... everyone loves 'Whitesnake' right?

**In The Darkest Light**

**(7) **

"What do we have here?" Nick muttered under his breath while walking into the hotel room. The height of the Stratosphere displayed Las Vegas stretching out in the early morning light beneath them. The casinos, strip clubs and bars in the city creating the devils play ground for those who wished to escape from any sense of reality.

"Male DB, early to mid 40s, over two dozen stab wounds." Vartann informed Nick and Langston as they began looking around.

"Rough way to go." Nick agreed his eyes scanning over the size of the blood pool.

"Aren't they all?" The enigmatic new CSI raised his eye brow at his co-worker. He had always found it strange how easily he had detached himself from work while in the morgue in comparison to the field. It was in this environment every ounce of suffering endured by the victim became apparent.

"It's been a good week for knife manufacturers, Greg and Sara had a victim with over twenty stab wounds." David commented as he took liver temperate and began preparing to take the body to Doc Robbins lair.

Once the body had been removed the atmosphere seemed to change in the room as the pair began processing the scene sighing with wariness.

On the other side of town it was the sound of 'Fool for Your Loving' by Whitesnake that woke Greg up from his awkward place on the couch. A pillow has been carefully tucked beneath his head a blanket wrapped around his shoulders covering his body in the position he had fallen asleep in. The start of the day appeared to hit him hard as his eyes struggled to adjust to the light and his ears failed to accept the sound of Whitesnake.

"Sara..." He grumbled padding to the kitchen door. She appeared to not hear him as she pottered about mouthing the words under her breath.

"Ah Greg, you're up." Sara beamed at him once she'd noticed him standing by the door. He seemed to be caught off guard by her smile- his heart skipping a beat. Her hair was tied into a messy knot the light pouring through the windows giving it a coppery glint, her skin was bare from any make up- nothing but warmth colouring her cheeks. She was wearing an over sized shirt with rolled up sleeves, ever dressed down she looked beautiful.

"Sit, I'm making breakfast." She indicated to a seat and turned back to the stove and without arguing Greg sat himself down watching Sara. She was frowning in a way Greg had always found endearing with concentration as she flipped a pancake.

"Since when do you cook?" Greg mocked with a sleepy smile.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that Gregory." Sara said in a low voice with her infamous half smile. "My pancakes are famous in these regions."

"Really? I've never read about you in Pancake Regional..." He continuing leaning back in his stool enjoying his view of Sara.

"You're such a dork." She snorted plating up the pancakes she'd made.

"But I'm your dork. And you have to admit- I'm loveable." Greg raised an eye brow at her.

"Uhm... you do have that 'please love me' look about you..." Sara smirked at him as she placed a plate in front of him before turning to find honey. An odd sense of melancholia settled in his system as he fully took in the situation they had found themselves in. He had always imagined a life like this with Sara- them cooking and joking together.

"Admit it you love me." Greg laughed.

Sara turned to him awkwardly silent, the smile that had been on her face had dissolved as she handed him the honey. Greg quickly realised his mistake. Scraps of the conversation they had, had the previous night floated through his mind. He swallowed the lump in his throat as his mind attempted to think of something to say in a frenzy.

"I think we should look at Chamber's cold case- there might be some leads in there." He offered a neutral topic of conversation.

"Yeah" Sara swallowed taking a sip from her coffee mug hoping it would be enough to mask her expression. "I can call in a favour..." They sat in silence for a few moments eating their breakfast.

"These are actually good." Greg said indicating towards the pancakes.

"Don't sound to surprised!" Sara laughed. "Here." She reached across the table her thumb brushing his skin gently lifting away the remnant of honey from beside his lip. Greg felt a shiver run through his whole body as the warmth of her skin met his. He detected something in her eyes, something he couldn't read. The gesture lingered in the air like a cloud of smoke. He was left with a decision, there were only two ways to break this kind of tension- and he wasn't sure either one of them were ready to cross the line into adultery.

"It's like eating with a toddler." Sara smiled pulling her hand back as if the tension between them was inexistent.

"You're not doing so great yourself!" Greg laughed pointing with his knife at dark spots of coffee on her shirt taking the bait. Sara sighed rubbing a napkin against the stains only to find she was doing nothing to help. Without a word she began unbuttoning the shirt revealing a lace trimmed black vest top that clung to her curves- she stood up throwing the shirt she'd been wearing into the washing machine. Greg could feel his breath catch in his chest- the second option seemed so appealing...

"I'm going to shower... I've put on the hot water and left a towel for you in the bathroom down the hall." She informed him before disappearing through the kitchen door.

Greg sat for a few moments attempting to regain his sanity and self control. He had been in this very same situation so many times before but this time felt different. He picked himself up from his seat and went to have a shower. But as he stood under the stream of hot water he realised that he couldn't wash the feelings away. His mind had been dwelling on what Sara had said the night before- _"Are you sure about that?"_ Those words had instilled a bizarre sense of hope in him that perhaps Sara had noticed, she had realised just how much he was in love with her. He stepped out of the shower wrapping the towel she had placed out for him around his waist before heading to find her.

"Sara." The sound of Greg's voice made her jump. She had been blankly staring out of her bedroom window lost in her own thoughts.

Sara turned to see Greg standing before her with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, beads of water ran down his slick torso. His body was so unlike her husband's; his taut frame was characterised by the muscle beneath his skin. She could almost feel the heat radiating from his body, she could almost smell the musky scent specific to him and she could almost taste the cinnamon flavour of his skin before she brushed those thoughts aside.

"Greg." She cleared her throat hoping he hadn't noticed her reaction.

"Do you have anything I could wear?" He asked with a raised eyebrow pretending he hadn't noticed the way her eyes had lingered on his body and the way her pupils had dilated with lust as she'd given him the once over.

"Er...yes..." She turned to the wardrobe focusing on the clothes in front of her rather than Greg who seemed to be slowly making his way towards her.

"Oh the wardrobe of the mysterious Mr Grissom..." He cooed; the sound of his voice told of his proximity to her. Sara absentmindedly picked out the most neutral items of clothing and turned spinning on her heels to face Greg not realising just close he was standing to her.

The clothes in her hand fell in a heap on to the floor between them and her hands were on his chest as she attempted to keep her balance. Greg's arms were around her waist gathering her to him. Their eyes met and shivers ran down their spines, Sara's eyes moved to Greg's lips. She ran her tongue over her own moistening them, her breathing slowly picking up pace with anticipation. Greg's head leant forward and she could smell the mix of honey and coffee on his breath as it hit her cheek. She could almost taste him...

Greg made sure she was steady on her feet before picking up the clothes that had fallen to the floor- with one dark look he disappeared into the hallway.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please make my day and review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(8) **

Doc Robbins stood underneath the bright light at the foot of the autopsy table tapping his fingers against the metal in a bittersweet rhythm as a grim expression masked his features. He'd paged Nick five minutes before and the anticipation of the Texan bursting through the door had him turning at every sound.

"Doc- what have you got?" The familiar voice filled the room.

"Knife wounds that are short- bruising at the entry suggest pen knife. Sara and Greg's victim had identical wounds." Doc Robbins explained making the casual link not wanting to push his assumptions any further.

"The same guy..." Nick hypothesised.

"I would say so." The pathologist nodded in agreement. "But it's almost impossible to tell from just the wounds whether it's the same killer."

"Is there anything else?" Nick asked.

"No...No other evidence of trauma, I've sent blood to tox and samples to trace but there is nothing more I can tell you." He shrugged.

"Thanks Doc." After nodding a goodbye Nick disappeared into the hall way. He found Langston in the layout room surrounded by the few items that were left that they had collected from the hotel room.

"So is there anything here?" Nick asked pulling on a pair of latex gloves his eyes surveying the table.

"Nothing much- the killer seems to have taken everything of any value- Mandy is working on the prints we collected." The older man paused indicating to a laptop bag. "Took the laptop but not the bag... it's a bit odd don't you think?"

"It is... perhaps the killer didn't notice it?" Nick suggested- Occam's razor coming to mind.

"It was in plain view- on the desk. Have a look." Langston passed him the crime scene photos to illustrate his point.

"That is a bit strange..." The bleeping of the pager filled the layout room catching their attention. "It's Mandy she has our prints ready."

They pair made their way towards the print lab with the hope that they would be able to find some leads to pursue.

Greg killed the engine as he pulled up into his usual spot at the Crime Lab parking lot while Sara fidgeted in the seat beside him. They had driven to the lab in silence not being able to form the correct words to explain what had happened between them, or rather what hadn't happened. A strange taste had settled in Sara's mouth and even Greg could see the tears that were building up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She finally said breaking the silence between them, her voice cracking, her throat dry and her eyes on her wedding ring.

"Don't be." Greg muttered back to her, taking her hand into his own. As always he was putting her first and Sara could feel nothing but guilt settling in the pit of her stomach- over the years she had learnt to live with all of the things she had done wrong but she realised that this was different. This time if she self destructed she would be taking other people down with her.

"I always screw everything up." Her voice had a bitter edge; she knew Greg would soon learn the weight of that statement. She knew that the moment that he opened that case file everything that she had built would fall apart. All of the secrets she had wished to keep to herself would become common knowledge. All of the shame she had attempted to forget would be fresh in her memory.

Sara thought of doing the only thing she had learnt to do- running.

"No you don't Sara- things are going to be fine. I promise." Greg's voice sounded so comforting, so sure but she knew better. "Come on let's go inside, we have a lot of work to do today."

She gave him a weak smile and climbed out of the passenger side door into the warmth of another day. They both slowly made their way towards the break room to be stopped by Brass waving a sheet of paper at them.

"I've managed to track down where the victim's belongings disappeared to- Gibson's Pawn Shop. Owned by a Thomas Gibson- I also got a warrant." He gave them a grim smile and indicated towards the exit.

Sara could feel her heart in her throat as the name registered in her mind, she could feel her legs going but knew that she needed to gain her composure. She couldn't break down. She couldn't let it show not now. She wished with the whole of her being that this wasn't the man she had known all of those years ago.

But she realised that luck and wishing had never been on her side.

Sara let Greg drive much to his surprise knowing that she was far too preoccupied to be able to focus on what was happening. He attempted to talk to her as they made their way there but she barely registered a word of what he was saying. He pulled up alongside the marked police car and turned to see Sara staring blankly ahead. After a few seconds she turned to him wide eyed- nothing but fear beyond her expression.

"Sara, are you okay?" He asked his voice full of concern. She nodded and silently climbed out of the truck leaving him to follow suit.

They stepped inside the store their senses being subjected to the smell of musky items and unsettled dust. Wall to wall the space was filled with belongings that people no longer wanted, or could no longer afford to keep.

"LVPD... we have a warrant to search this premises." Brass announced realising that having a look around first would be a redundant task.

A man with tattoos covering his arms and his neck stepped forward, his greying hair was slicked back and most of his teeth were gold. He snatched the warrant paper of the police officers hand before his eyes settled on Sara.

"Sa-rah Sidle- well I be damned." He said his features twisting into smirk. "You sure made pretty didn't you..." He gave her the once over.

"Tom...please..." Sara seemed to be pleading with him- everyone's eyes were on her as she fought back tears.

"Get him out of here." Brass demanded. Once Tom had gone he and Greg turned their attention back to Sara.

"Who is he?" Brass demanded to know.

"He was my foster father..." Sara's eyes were on the ground as she avoided their gaze.

"So what else are you not telling us Sara?" The older man continued asking ignoring Greg's warning eyes. But there were was no answer- Sara remained perfectly silent.

"Brass- we need to start processing the store..." Greg mumbled knowing that the only way Sara knew how to respond to confrontation was by pushing back.

"Fine..." Brass stalked out of the store leaving them alone.

Greg turned to Sara attempting to figure out what to say- he knew there was more to her story but from the tears in her eyes and her shaking hands he knew that she wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Thank you..." She said weakly her eyes looking at the things they were surrounded by. "I'll start at the back..." She turned away from him and began walking towards the shop counter.

"Sara..." He said softly to get her attention. "Whatever he's done... we're not going to let him get away with it..."

"That's what I'm afraid of..."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please make my day and review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(9) **

Greg wanted to ask her about the comment she had made but he knew well enough that any more words and Sara would be over the edge into a place no one would be able to reach her. He had seen Sara shut down- he had seen her hurt in a way that had torn apart her world. So he remained silent and began processing the things around him.

"Greg!" Sara called him over her eyes not leaving whatever it was that she had found.

"What have you got?" He asked peaking over her shoulder into a tatter old cardboard box.

"Louis Chamber's things..." She indicated to the wallet lying open on the counter.

"There's something missing..." Greg said quietly, unsure of himself as his eyes remained on the items in front of them.

"What?" Sara asked with a frown her eyes running over the items before her.

"Well he was working a case right?" Greg paused after asking the question waiting for approval for Sara, which eventually came in the form of a small nod. "Well... gun, handcuffs, flexcuffs, and a pen... there's something missing-"

"His notes..." Sara finished his sentence with a sigh.

"Everything we've found so far...suggests that this has something do with what happened in San Francisco." With that sentence Sara realised that her worst fears were being recognised. The case files she hoped were gathering dust somewhere were going to be opened and on display to her colleagues, her friends.

"Yeah..." She turned away from him and continued her search for some indication to who seemed so hell bent on bring up the past.

"Sara..." Greg's voice came softly behind her making her bite her lip, she knew what was coming, she knew he was going to try find out what had happened. And she knew that she should tell him, warn him now about all of the things that were about to come.

"Yes?" She responded without turning to look at him knowing that those hazel eyes would have her unravelling within moments. And she couldn't afford that. Not now. Not after everything that she had lied about so far.

"You know... you can tell me anything... you can talk to me about anything. I'm always going to be here for you Sara...no matter what." He spoke with a sincerity that she hadn't expected.

"I know..." Sara turned to face him her eyes on the ground but she could see Greg offering her his hand. She intertwined her fingers with his and stepped closer. "Tom... he made me do things... things I wish I could forget... things I want to forget..." She trailed off not being able to form any more words. Greg pulled her closer wrapping his arms tightly around her as if to protect her from the world.

"No one's going to hurt you...I'm not going to let them." He whispered in her hair with defiance, a knife to his heart as another dimension of hurt opened up. They slowly pulled apart their hearts heavy with all of the heightened emotions the case had placed on them.

"Is that what I think it is?" Greg frowned, his eyes focused on a plastic container hidden carefully under the counter.

"If you're thinking all of the things you need to cook meth- then yes." Sara replied her vision following Greg's gaze. The pipes, filter paper, phenyl-2-propanone and a bottle of clear liquid Sara assumed was hydrochloric acid- there were all things she was familiar with, things she had seen before. "You know, we can't get him for the murder..."

"Get him for distribution..." He nodded as his eyes scanned the shop floor. "We need to find the stash... Want to tear this place apart?"

"With pleasure" A smile crossed Sara's lips for the first time in days. She knew it was childish wanting to demolish Tom's livelihood because he had destroyed her childhood but she couldn't deny the satisfaction she felt as she tore things from the shelves and tossed the aside with little regard.

"Why meth?" Greg asked absentmindedly as he worked on removing a shelf from the wall to checks for hollow walls and hidden compartments. Of all the drugs he'd had encountered working in law enforcement he still couldn't understand crystal meth users. The cooking process was hazardous. The addiction itself physically at least resulted in anorexia, hypertension, numbness and the psychological effects were no better. And research had shown that it had the closest links suicide and depression, the impact being worse than other opiate.

"Well...Meth is good for ensuring some things..." Sara let the sentence linger in the air not giving away what she knew.

"...Because meth addicts are reliable customers?" His intonation suggesting he was asking a question.

"Exactly..." Sara's attention remained focused on the wall in front of her. "Greg, can you come over here?"

"What is it?" He asked moving across the room to stand beside Sara, his eyes attempting to gage what she'd found.

"What does that look like to you?" She asked in a low voice turning to face him.

"A sliding door..." Greg replied turning to look at Sara who was watching him with a careful smile.

"I'd bet anything... that we've found his stash. Want to do the honours?" She stepped out of the way letting Greg loose on the door- plaster and dust flying off the wall. He pulled loose the few items that were hidden in the small space and handed them to Sara.

"I say we get back to the lab and secure this..." She held up a small packet full with crystals that seemed only too familiar.

They gathered up all of the things that were of any use in creating a case against Tom and headed back to the lab. Shorting the correct items for the correct lab techs they made their way to PD for the interrogation.

"Sara where do you think you're going?" Brass asked stepping in her way.

"To interrogate Tom Gibson" She replied sternly not giving into his expression.

"If you think I'm going to let you walk in there and blow any chance we have of nailing this guy then you can think again." He retorted.

"You can't do this..." Sara knew she was wrong but she was going to do everything she could.

"I can... you're out Sara." Brass turned around and walked into the room before she had a chance to say anything else- Greg followed giving her a sympathetic look. Without any other options Sara stepped into the observation room and took a deep breath as the interview started.

"Where's Sara?" Tom asked leaning back in his chair- his eyes focused on the glass knowing full well that she would be watching him with anticipation- that she would be terrified of the things he could say about her.

"Not here." Brass replied shortly, Greg's frown deepened as he studied Tom. He couldn't help but think about the things that this man had done to his friend.

"That's a shame you know... me and Sara have a lot of catching up to do..." He smirked.

"Do you know Louis Chambers?" Greg asked attempting to force the images of Tom violating a young Sara out of his mind- he attempted to deafen his ears to her screams.

"No." His reply was brief.

"Then why did we find his things are your shop?" Brass questioned.

"Well it is a pawn shop- people bring things in." He shrugged. "Hey...Sugarbug you back there? I've missed you know."

"How about this?" Greg said through gritted teeth placing a picture of the Meth and cooking equipment they had found in front of him.

"Not mine." Another shrug.

"Do you have any evidence that specifically links to my client?" The lawyer beside him that had remained mainly silent spoke for the first time.

"The things are in his shop are they not?" Brass raised an eyebrow.

"The property is co-owned can you discount the other owners?" The lawyer tapped his pen against his note pad knowing that their answer would be 'no'.

"No." Greg replied with a stern expression.

"Then I think we're done here, you can speak to my client when you have something concert." He stood up causing his obviously guilty client to follow suit.

"I could tell you a few things about your little doll in there... and I assure you none of them are pretty." Tom turned to face them an undeniably smug look on his face as he did so, he indicated to the glass partition between the interrogation and observation rooms. "I'll be more co-operative next time... won't I Sara?"


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Sorry for the slow up-date.

Please make my day and review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(10) **

Sara could feel her heart beat stop in her chest as she rushed out of the observation room- she needed to do something. She had use whatever she had in her power to keep the focus on the present and away from the past.

"Brass...please... let me in there with him..." Sara pleaded with visible hints of desperation that her colleagues seemed not to understand.

"No Sara I'm not going to do that." Brass sighed clasping his hands together and adjusting his stance prepared to argue with her.

"Why not?" She demanded to know, it was as if in that moment she had forgotten everything about her job. She'd pushed aside every single of the reasons she knew why she couldn't talk to Tom about the case hoping that Brass would trust her enough to let her in a room with him.

"Because whatever he says to you won't be accountable in court... defence attorney would tear it apart." He reminded her while Greg watched on with a frown- he could tell that there was something more to this than simple interest over the case but as he had done for all of this time he realised that he wasn't able to vocalise his concerns.

"I know how to push his buttons... Please... just give me five minutes..." Sara continued arguing her case.

"Fine...Five minutes... I'll be right outside." Over the years that they had worked together Brass had learnt to trust Sara's judgements. Her requests were often confusing, bizarre and demanding but he had learnt to just go with them because more often than not she got the desired results. But as he let her into a room alone with a man that had obliviously hurt her in the past Brass hoped that Sara knew what she was doing.

Her hand went to her holster instinctively checking for her gun as Tom sat watching her pace. She didn't know why- he wasn't going to hurt her- not here in front of everyone. The question that lingered at the forefront of her mind was whether she would hurt him. Sara had spent years thinking about this encounter. She had thought of all the ways she could physically hurt him. She had rehearsed so many speeches that she could give this man but standing before him like this after so many year she didn't want anything but for him to disappear. Those words she had pent up didn't mean anything because in the end he had hurt her more than she could ever hurt him.

"We've missed having you around Sara." He said recognising her inability to talk. He was going to take advantage of this situation that was clear enough to both of them. "The girls and I"

"We're not here to talk about the past Tom." Sara said through gritted teeth making the boundaries of their conversation very clear. They were both aware that there were people who didn't know anything about the past listening to the two of them talking.

"Of course we're not- we wouldn't want your new cop friends to know what their darling little Sara was like back in the day would we?" He raised an eye brow at her, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. His eyes slowly trailed over her body, lingering on her breasts making her feel sick. She recognised the look that had glazed over his eyes far too well. Sara often found herself waking in the middle of the night- that look haunting her dreams in ways she wished she could ignore.

"You're being accused of murder...if I were you I'd stop messing around with remarks like that and focus on telling us the truth." She spat at him warningly.

"I can't say I like this new... clean... Sara." He mocked not giving up on his purpose of getting under her skin. "I preferred you when you were... slutty."

"Stop it." Sara's hand collided with the table loudly as she leant her weight against it using it to hold herself up. Brass peered in with a worried expression from the other side hearing the commotion.

"Sara baby... nice to see you've still kept something from the good old days... I've missed that temper of yours." He smirked enjoying the fact that he could still get the same reactions out of her. Sara took a deep breath, counting back from ten and schooling herself into indifference. She stood up straight and crossed her arms.

"Did you kill Louis Chambers?" She asked sternly getting to the point, not wanting to spend any more time with Tom than required.

"I want a deal." He demanded his face falling.

Sara studied him for a few moments not saying a word as she attempted to work out what to do next. He wasn't going to say a word. She knew that much. All they would have to do is open Louis's case file to know just how involved he was.

She walked towards the door her expression not changing as Brass watched her with anticipation as she closed the door behind her.

"He wants a deal." She announced as if she were a hostage negotiator.

"I'll see what I can do- but I don't think the DA is going to be too happy about it." Brass explained with a disappointed expression. "Greg's opening up the old case files...Let's hope he has better luck finding something to link this guy to Chambers."

Sara's heart stopped in her chest as she realised that the control she had attempted to maintain during this ordeal had finally slipped from her fingers. Her feet moved without her mind thinking it- she rushed to find Greg- to stop him. But as Sara saw him in the AV room placing a disk into the drive she realised that there was nothing she could do this time. And she knew that she couldn't stay. She couldn't be there when he found out. So she did the only thing she knew... something she had done well for so many years... run.

Nick and Langston stood patiently as Mandy sorted through all of the documents and paper she had before her with a flustered sigh. Finding what she'd been looking for she turned back indicating that it was okay for them to move closer to her desk now.

"Okay... Your victim's prints came back to a Jonathan Dennit- he used to work as a clerk at the San Francisco District Attorney's office...until he quit his day job and decided to become a private detective full time." Mandy handed Nick a few stapled together sheets that illustrated their victim's identity.

"Also... There were a lot of unknowns, which considering that it's a hotel room aren't surprising and don't really tell us much... but I got a hit of one set which were on the bedside table, the desk and the door handle, for a Jonah Phillips. He just finished a stint in jail for sexual assault but has also been incarcerated for drug possession with the intent to distribute and grand larceny over the last fifteen years." She finished handing another set of results with images to where the finger prints were located in the hotel room to Langston.

"It's been a good week for criminals from San Francisco." She mused as the two CSIs studied the notes and results they had before them. "Sara and Greg's case had a victim and a suspect from there..."

"That's interesting because our victims were both killed with the same type of knife... it's starting to sound as if these murders are linked... doesn't it?" Nick asked hypothetically to Langston who raised an eye brow at him cautiously.

"Want more?" Mandy asked teasingly leaning back against her desk enjoying having the upper hand rather than being the slave to the CSI's finger print needs.

"Sure..." Nick shrugged his shoulders at her.

"Well... Jonah Phillip's arresting officer... Louis Chambers... retired cop from SFPD who was discovered repeatedly stabbed to death behind Mix yesterday." She smiled at them waiting for the pieces to fall into place.

"It sounds like someone's going on a crime spree..." Nick commented.

"Attempting to avenge prior mistreatment?" Langston suggested considering that both the victims were working in law enforcement in their different spheres.

"I say we talk to Greg and Sara." Nick announced turning to walk out of the finger print lab. "Thanks Mandy." He called over his shoulder as he spotted Greg in the AV lab.

"Greg..." Nick said to get his friend's attention to turned to him with a frown.

"Yes?" He asked looking clearly angry about something. Nick explained while waving the papers in his hand at the younger man.

"I think our cases are actually one case..."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Sorry for the slow up date- I had an exam this week.

Please review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(11) **

Greg stood opposite Nick and Langston as they laid out their case while Catherine observed from the head of the table with a worried expression. The images that were pinned up around the layout room spoke of the similarities between their cases.

"Looks like the same MO. and all of these people are linked somehow..." Nick pointed out his eyes focused on the image of their victim.

"Greg you pulled up the old case file what did you get from it?" Catherine asked speaking for the first time since she'd entered the room.

"Not much... Our vic Louis Chambers was working a prostitution ring using minors... their main suspect was Thomas Gibson... who is also our main suspect. One of the girls came forward, named two of the others but apparently that went nowhere. They executed a search of Tom's house found some videos but the DA claimed there wasn't sufficient evidence. All the names were covered in file..." He sighed leaning against the table.

"Where's Sara?" Catherine asked with a raise eyebrow.

"She...wasn't feeling well...she went home to get some medicine...she'll be back soon..." Greg stumbled over his sentence nervously.

"Okay...Greg you run with the old case...Get Sara to help you when she gets back. Nick, Langston I want you to find out how Jonathan Dennit and Johan Philips fit into all of this..." Catherine instructed them. At that moment her phone rang and she disappeared out of the layout room.

Greg walked slowly down the hall his eyes focused on his phone as he rang Sara's number for the fifth time that afternoon. Archie seemed to appear out of nowhere pulling him by the arm into his lab. For the first time ever Archie had closed the blinds of the AV lab so that the dim overhead light was the only bulb attempting to fight the darkness.

"Archie what are you doing?" Greg asked with slight annoyance as the lab tech carefully closed the door behind them.

"I need to talk to you..." He said nervously shifting his weight on his feet, his eyes wide.

"What is it?" He asked gravely realising that he had never seen Archie act this way before, it must have been something serious for him to be so nervous. The AV tech had always managed to be laid back and calm even when under pressure to produce results.

"I found something... on the video's... and I didn't know who to tell... or what to do." He spoke slowly his eyes on the door to make sure that no one was looking in.

"What did you find Archie?" Greg asked butterflies oddly settling in his stomach as he anticipated the worst. Archie seemed to not be able to respond, not finding the right words to describe what he'd found. He sat himself down on his stool pulling up one of the videos indicating for Greg to sit down too.

_The slightly fuzzy image was shot by someone with an unsteady hand and it took a few moments for what was happening to become clear. A coffee table came into view covered with empty beer bottle and an inconspicuous white power. A large group of teenagers seemed to be surrounding it taking turns to snort the drug. Their ages seemed to range from thirteen to nineteen; some looked as if they could have been younger. Music was blaring but the sound was too distorted to be able to tell what it was- not that it mattered. _

"_Woah the party's finally here..."The man holding the camera shouted, his proximity to the recording device providing a clearly sound. Tom Gibson appeared through the door a thin girl in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder, her feet barely moving of their own accord. _

"_She could use a few more drinks...if you know what I mean..." He said with a sickening smile attempting to make the girl stand by herself. She turned to face the camera, her dark hair in a mess of curls around her face. Lifting a delicate hand she tucked her hair behind her ear. _

Greg's heart stopped in his chest, that mannerism was something he knew, it was something he recognised. And he studied the young girl's face carefully he realised that he knew her. It was Sara. Those dark eyes. That sleepy smile. They were things he had memorised about her. Archie hit the pause button taking a deep breath before he turned to Greg.

"It gets a lot worse..." He said slowly not knowing whether to continue- the images he had witnessed were still weighing heavy on his heart. Greg nodded for him to continue as a lump built up in his throat.

_Her pupils were dilated and it was clear that she had taken something as she swayed unsteadily on her feet- her nails clawing at her arms, a gloss of addiction over her features as she stood with a look of desperation before the camera. A deep purple bruise on her jaw stood out against her pale skin. She looked frail. _

"_Why don't you have a drink sweet heart?" A glass of clear liquid was placed in her hand as someone's arm wrapped their arm around her small waist. With little resistance Sara took the glass letting the clear liquid past her lips. _

"_Tom...Tom said you'd give me some stuff..." She asked incoherently her hand running through her hair. She was so young. _

"_We can get some stuff for her can't we?" The camera man asked someone that nearby. _

"_Sure...but what have you got for us?" A low voice asked. _

"_Uhm..." She attempting to think of something but the answer was nothing. _

"_It's okay...I'm sure we can come to some kind of an agreement..." The man pulled Sara towards the stairs almost carrying her. _

_The camera focused on the ground as the pair carried her upstairs. _

_The room was poorly lit and there appeared to be nothing to identify it apartment from a small bed with a clearly unclean bedspread. Sara sat herself down on the edge of the bed her head in her hands as she attempted to steady herself. _

"_Now... you can get your stuff... if you do a little something for me first..." She looked up at him hopefully as the man approached her. He pushed Sara back and she fell back onto the bed with little resistance. She groaned realising what was happening but too weak to fight him off. _

"_Don't be like that baby...you'll get what you want once we're done..." He cooed in her ear, pinning her wrist's above her head. _

"_Please..." She whimpered before realising that there was no point- he wasn't going to stop. _

_He tried to kiss her on the lips but she turned her head away from him so he placed his lips on her neck instead, slobbering on her. Sara shut her eyes tightly as if wishing away the situation as she was in. The man stopped abruptly flipping her on to her stomach muttering in her ear as pulled her trousers out of the way. _

"_Don't..." She pleaded with him as he kept one hand tightly on the back of her neck the other between her legs. _

"_Oh Sara baby...don't cry..." The man holding the camera mocked. The other man had hold of her wrists pinning her down against the bed as he entered her. _

"Stop it. Stop it now." Greg demanded his hands curled into fists as anger coursed through his veins. He felt bile rising up his throat as his eyes remained focused on the still in front of him. Archie sat beside with a haunted expression.

"No one sees this. You hear me? No one." He told the man next to him as he made his way towards the door.

"I got you." Archie nodded taking the video off the screen.

Greg pressed Sara's speed dial number again but still nothing but voice mail spoke back to him. His heart was in his throat as he made his way quickly through the lab avoiding making eye contact with anyone with the fear of something asking what was wrong.

The anger settled in the pit of his stomach as he threw himself haphazardly into the diver's seat of his car. Turning onto the main road he drove at a speed he knew was too fast but he didn't care.

He needed to see Sara.

He needed to speak to her.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Sorry for the slow up date- final deadlines and exams are officially in full swing.

Please review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(12) **

Greg rushed to the parking lot hoping that no one would stop him on the way, he was fully aware that he didn't have long before Archie was forced to give up what he'd found. His heart pounded in his chest as he pulling of his assigned space turning onto the road hoping that traffic wouldn't slow him down. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel as he saw the road ahead of him filled with slow moving cars. Continuing for as long as he needed he took a turn onto a rather dingy looking road, figuring out his journey as he drove through the poorly lit street.

The images from the video seemed to blind him as he attempted to focus on the road ahead of him, Greg couldn't shake the goose bumps that had settled over his skin. As much as he wanted it all to be a lie- he had heard Grissom say that evidence didn't lie too many times to hope for a miracle. His heart climbed into his throat as he made his way towards Sara's apartment block. She had hated the place when she had moved in- but over the weeks she had been back the small apartment had become like an extension of her- the walls covered in pictures and trinkets from her travels. She had made the place her own and started growing accustom to her new living arrangements.

There was no response to the buzzer and Greg could feel his head thumping in his skull- he knew Sara- he knew what she was capable of doing when she was upset, hurt or feeling lost- he couldn't stop his mind from going to the worst places. He reminded himself of all of her favourites haunts in Vegas as he found the spare key she had given him in case of emergencies. The sound of the lock clicking provided little comfort as he rushed up the flight of stairs towards Sara's floor. He knocked on the door but there was no reply- again using his spare key he opened the door calling Sara's name to find no response. A few moments passed before he stepped into the living room fully entering her space.

She appeared slowly creeping from one of the back rooms with a nervous look, her hands clasped together in front of her. Her eyes were red rimmed and her lower lip bitten raw- she looked distraught. With one dark look she returned to where she had been previously- turning away from him leaving all of his questions hanging in the air between them. Greg silently followed her back to her room where her suitcase lay open on the bed half of her things already having been packed.

"Sara...what are you doing?" He asked the words barely audible as attempted to push aside his nerves.

"I'm... I'm leaving..." Sara fought back tears as she turned away from Greg to continue packing.

"We need to talk..." The words stopped her heart in her chest. With her eyes closed Sara turned to Greg taking a deep breath before opening them, the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Did...did you see..." She took another deep breath her voice fluttering inconsistently in the air. "Did you see the videos?"

Greg nodded silently not being able to bring himself to verbally admit that he had been witness to the things that had happened to Sara. He wanted more than anything to be able to pull her into his arms- to promise that no one would ever hurt her again. But from the way she had her arms wrapped around herself and turned away from him he could tell she didn't want anyone to touch her as those the old ghosts of finger prints made themselves evident on her skin.

"Greg... I want you to go..." She muttered just loud enough for him to hear.

"Sara no...I'm not leaving you...not now" He attempted to sound defiant but he was fully aware of the fear that was evident in his voice.

"Greg, please..." Sara turned back to him her eyes filled with desperation as she silently pleaded with him to leave.

"Talk to me Sara...please..." The concern in his voice caused her throat to close up as she realised that she could no longer form words. Sara had always known that one day she would have to talk about the years that she had attempted to forget- but she had always hoped that it would have been in her own time.

"I...I don't know what to say Greg." Her confession lingered in the air as she looked at him in a way had never seen her before. Sara had turned to Greg on so many occasions that he had mistakenly thought he'd seen all sides of her- but one thing he realised he had never seen had been Sara scared. He had seen her upset, angry, worried and immensely unhappy but never scared in the way she seemed to be there in front of them.

"I want to help..." He replied helplessly as it sunk in that there was nothing he could in that moment to make those memories go away. Greg swallowed he anger that was slowly bubbling up in his system as he considered the things he would do to Tom Gibson and every other person that had laid a finger on Sara.

"I know..." She spoke quietly sitting herself down on the bed attempting to word exactly what to say- exactly where to start telling the tragic tales of her childhood. Sara noted that in that moment never had she felt more exposed in her life than sitting there in front of Greg.

"Tom...used to give us...stuff to keep us compliant...at first it was just prescription meds...but...it didn't last...he started giving us meth." She picked at her nails as she spoke. "He just said it was a bit of fun...that we'd be fine...but it got out of control."

"Sara if you don't want to talk about it...we can stop...I understand" She glanced up at Greg nervously who responded with a concerned expression. Sara shook her head realising that it was time to finally speak up.

"He'd planned it all...he needed the girls to be hooked so...so they'd...work for him. I...I got clean I went to school...I focused on getting out of there and I did...I got a scholarship. The other girls weren't so lucky... they were stuck...And when they got too old for Tom they ended up with other dealers...other pimps." She took a deep breath, running her tongue over her lower lip to moisten it as she thought through what had happened next not knowing how to confession to Greg how she had simply just ran away deciding not to look back. "I...I got out of there and I never looked back. But...one of the girls...went to the police...to Louis Chambers...She named me and Michelle...And when he came to talk to me I didn't know what to do...I was so...ashamed of what had happened...and when Grissom called I just ran. I decided moving to Vegas was my way out. I didn't do anything..."

"Sara...it's not your fault...none of this is your fault..." Greg sympathised as he slowly approached her.

"I ran Greg...I could have done something to stop Tom...to what was happening...but I didn't...I just walked away and pretended that it had never happened." Sara looked up at him asking him to judge her in the way she was judging herself.

"You were scared...after everything that happened...it's understandable" But Sara barely responded to Greg her eyes focused on anything but his presence as the guilt seemed to swallow her whole. His phone rang piercing the heavy silence in the room- with a small sigh Greg answered hoping that he sounded like himself.

"Sanders...yeah...okay...I will...see you there." placing his phone back in his pocket he turned his attention back to Sara.

Greg took a deep breath letting the weight of the tension sink in the atmosphere before sharing what he had learnt from the short phone conversation. "They...they found another body..."


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(13) **

"I'll cover for you...but promise me Sara that you're not going to leave..." Greg asked nervously knowing how good Sara was at disappearing. He stood silently watching her as she took a deep breath coming to a silent decision.

"I want to come with you..." She announced pulling herself to her feet quickly running her fingers through her hair and throwing her shoulders back hoping she looked composed. All of these years Sara had tried so hard to always be in control, to always know that there was a way out but she realised that this time it was going to be harder than it had been before- there was no way out- she couldn't escape her past.

"Sara you don't have to do this..." The concern in his eyes made her shiver but Sara knew that she needed to do this- she needed to see through this case to have closure of some sort. She wanted all of those years wishing that she'd done something to stop haunting her- she wanted justice not only for herself but Michelle and all of the other girls too.

"I want to...Greg...I need to." Sara caught his eye with all of the confidence she could muster hoping that he'd recognise that she still had some fight- that she was not completely broken.

"Okay..." Greg said in a low voice taking her hands in his own- his warmth spreading over her ice cold skin. "But the moment you want to leave...just say...I'll do what I have to do to get you out of there..."

"Thank you." Sara whispered as their eyes met again their gaze lingering for a moment. Greg nodded without a sound giving her a weak smile hoping that Sara understood that no matter what he would be there for her.

Greg sat silently in the living room thinking through everything that had happened in the past few days while waiting for Sara to get ready. He wanted to do something to make everything alright but he had learnt the hard way that there was no cure to life, there was no spell that would make the world a better place. He wondered how he had managed to grow up with such rose tinted view of the way people were when Sara had seen the harshness of reality when still a child.

"Come on day dreamer...we have a scene to get to." Sara smiled at him as she stood in front of him ready to leave- Greg gave her another weak smile before pulling himself to his feet trying to get ready for what was ahead of them.

They drove silently to the location Greg had been given as the Las Vegas suburbs passed them by. The radio played softly in the background in attempts to make the atmosphere between them less awkward. Sara kept her eyes focused on the things that they were driving past, taking in the small details of the city she had started calling home. She wondered how children survived living in sin city without letting the vice, smut and violence get to them- how their parents managed to shelter them.

"Sara..." The sound of her name dragged her attention reluctantly away from the window. "I...want to...Is there anything I can do?" Greg asked nervously his eyes focused on the road as he attempted to fix things in the way he always did.

"You're doing enough Greg..." She replied attempting to make him feel more at ease as he shifted in his seat the images from the video tape clearly on his mind. Sara silently wondered how much Greg had seen of her past but she couldn't bring herself to ask.

"Really?" He asked the word slipping out before he had a chance to take it back.

"Yes." Sara replied softly her eyes focused on her hands as she picked at her nails.

"Sara...I just...I want you to be okay. To be more than that..." Greg spoke honestly in a way he hoped she would respond to.

"I know...I will be" She almost whispered.

Greg pulled up outside of the crime scene, silently turning to face Sara as if to check she hadn't changed her mind. She gave him a nod to indicate she was fine before she climbed out of the passenger seat.

"What took you so long?" Vartann asked as they slowly approached the house.

"Traffic" Greg replied flippantly hoping that the Detective wouldn't question them any further. "Where's the body?"

"Follow me." Vartann instructed leading them to a small gate that they guessed led into the back garden. Greg grimaced slightly at smell as they made their way into the small back yard; there was a distinctive smell of iron in the air and the clean clothes that hung from the washing line were splattered in blood.

"Vic's name is Jonah Philips..." The detective informed them as they walked towards the body. Sara's heart skipped a beat as the name rang through her ears- the sight of Jonah's body riddled with stab wounds hit her harder than she had expected. Turning away Sara began to walk as quickly as she could she needed to get away from the body but she couldn't get far before the bile slowly inclined up her throat. She could hear Greg's feet steps moving towards her as she emptied her stomach content on to the ground her head suddenly becoming light.

"Hey...it's going to be okay..." Greg muttered to her as he rubbed small circles on her back, wrapping his other arm around her to keep Sara on her feet.

"Here..." Vartann had disappeared and returned with a bottle of water, his eyes filled with concern as he glanced at Greg to explain what was going on. But the younger man just simply gave him a dark look to let him know that he couldn't explain. Vartann gave a small nod of understanding before leaving them alone in the back garden

"Sara...what's wrong?" Greg muttered into her hair as he held her shaking body close to him. Tears dampened the shoulder of his shirt but he didn't care- he just wanted to help Sara.

"The vic...That guy..." She indicated to the body. "Was one of my friends back in San Francisco...one of Tom's foster kids..."

"Oh...I'm sorry Sara..." He gently stroked her hair.

"Why is this happening?" A sob escaped into the air as Sara buried her face in Greg's neck hoping to shut the world out.

"I don't know Sar...I don't know." He continued rubbing small circles on her back as she clung to him. The air seemed to still for a moment as pulled back her hands on Greg's chest as she attempted to steady herself with her eyes focused on the ground she began to speak.

"I need to...I need to tell them, the team." She said slowly her voice hoarse.

"If that's what you want to do..." Greg nodded slowly realising that they would able to hide what they knew- he could imagine Catherine or Nick pacing in the AV lab as Archie attempted to think of excuses for why he had nothing to show them.

Greg squeezing her hand hoping that his support was doing enough because after everything he couldn't handle watching Sara crumble. "Whatever you want..."


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(14) **

They quietly processed the scene getting what they needed to get- Sara remaining as far from the body as possible as the anticipation of what was about to come settled in her stomach. She stood by the gate waiting for Greg to finish gathering his things while the past few days turned into a surreal daze in her mind.

The drive back to the lab was silent- Greg offered her his hand when he wasn't using it to steer or change gears and Sara found herself clinging to it- her eye focused on how her fingers seemed to place themselves perfectly the spaces between Greg's. Every so often she would take a sharp intake of breath as she acknowledged that all of this was really happening- she was really about to expose all of the things she had pretended had never happened.

Once they had logged their evidence she nodded at Greg making her way towards Catherine's office a lump building up in her throat as she knocked on the door.

"Come in" Catherine shouted from the other side and without a word Sara did what she had instructed closing the door quietly behind her as she turned hoping that she did not look distraught.

"Cath there is something I need to tell you...and I know I should have done it before but...I just...I didn't know where to start and the longer I keep lying the worse this is going to get." Sara took a deep breath, pausing attempting to slow herself down.

"Okay...Sara whatever it is it can't be that bad...slow down" Catherine responded with a confused look.

"The original case... the under-age prostitution ring... the main suspect...was my step father...Louis Chambers came to talk to me...but I ran because I didn't want anyone to see the tapes... or to know..." Sara began to explain but it was almost cryptic as she paced her eyes focused on anything but Catherine.

"Sara...what are you talking about? What tapes?" Catherine asked still confused. Taking a deep breath Sara turned to face her sitting down on the seat opposite her- her eyes glassed over as she attempted to blink away tears but they still seemed to escape past her eyelashes as she sat looking more vulnerable than Catherine had ever seen her.

"I...I was one of the girls...Tom gave us booze, drugs, things to keep us hooked...he needed us to need to him and his...friends...filmed us...and the tapes in the old case file...and...I...I am on them." She took another deep breath. "Louis Chambers came to talk to me about the case- but I didn't talk..."

Catherine silently absorbed the information attempting to let it sink in- the professional part of her knew she should have been angry at Sara for not saying anything before but the rest of her acknowledged how hard it must have been for her to talk about what had happened. The brunette in front of her didn't seem able to stop the tears streaming down her face- Catherine pushed a box of tissues towards her before standing up and moving around to the other side of the desk. Sara wiped her tears away as Catherine perched merely inches away from her.

"Sara...I will do whatever I have in my power to stop you having to be involved...but I'm going to need everything...I mean everything from you..." She softly as she reached out her hand. Catherine remembered distinctly how Sara had hurried to meet her at that motel when she had woken up with no clue as to how she had gotten there and what had happened the night before. She noted that it was now her turn to be supportive. Sara had barely spoken about her past- and from what she knew Grissom (and possibly Greg) had been one of the few people she had opened up to. It was from the distressed, panicked and scared Sara that sat before her Catherine realised how dark the things that she had been hiding really were.

"Okay..." She nodded ready for all of this to be over.

"We...we're going to have to tell the team." Catherine said slowly, Sara simply nodded again the understanding clear in her eyes.

"Can...I tell them..." Sara asked; her voice meek, her expression terrified. It was as if she had reverted back to childhood asking Catherine's permission.

"Sure..." The older woman gently squeezed her arm.

Catherine gathered the team into her office, Sara stood by the desk her fingers intertwined with Greg's as he kept her standing. Brass, Nick and Langston eyed them carefully wondering what was happening as Catherine closed the door behind them- the blinds lowered in her office so no one could see in.

"Sara..." She gave the shivering brunette the floor as she stepped aside.

"I...I have something to tell you..." She took a deep breath her eyes desperately seeking Greg's for support. "Tom Gibson was my foster father..."

"I knew I shouldn't have let you in there with him...what did he say?" Brass demanded to know, his defensiveness clearly displaying his concern for her.

"He...he didn't say anything...this about what I...didn't say." Sara took another deep breath- Greg tightened his grip on her hand. "The prostitution ring Louis Chambers was investigating was run by Tom Gibson...he...he used his foster kids..."

"What are you saying Sara?" Nick asked in a low voice not wanting to believe what she was saying.

"I...I was one of those girls...but I got out- I went to school. After...after a few years one of the girls spoke to Chambers but I...I didn't tell him what had happened- I didn't want anyone to know..." Her eyes were on the ground with guilt- Greg wrapped his arm around her gathering her body close to his.

"It's okay...no one blames you..." He muttered to her sympathetically.

"Michelle Clearborne...was one of the other girls...but she was still hooking and on meth so she wasn't considered a 'reliable' witness...Chambers searched the house but there was almost nothing there...but tapes..." Sara took a deep breath her eyes finding Catherine's before she continued. "The tapes contained...footage...of...the girls...things... things that...happened...but the San Francisco DA's office claimed it wasn't enough to bring Tom Gibson in because...he wasn't...directly shown to be...committing a crime...He got away with it- moved cities..."

"We're going to get that bastard..." Nick announced to the room his arms across his chest.

"We will..." Brass agreed.

"Our victim Jonathan Dennit worked at the San Francisco's DA office..." Langston pointed out. "Think Tom is attempting to get rid of the people that were involved in the original case?"

"It sure does look like it..." Catherine added.

"We're going to get this guy Sara..." Langston said slowly- his eyes brimming with sympathy. Sara nodded freeing herself from Greg's grasp, steadying herself on her feet.

"I...I need some air." She announced quietly, almost silently moving past the team. They stood for a moment their eyes meeting as the information Sara had revealed to them.

"Excuse me..." Greg said shortly following Sara through the door knowing exactly where she would be hiding. He hurriedly made his way out of the main door of the lab into the parking lot. With a deep breath he made the walk to where Sara took her cigarette breaks.

"Sara..." He said softly as he saw her leaning against the wall a cigarette slowly burning out between her fingers. She pushed herself off the wall resting her head on Greg's shoulder throwing the still lit butt aside. He gently rubbed her back wrapping his arms around her tightly hold her close against him hoping to capture her in his warmth.

"Everything is going to be okay..." He promised her as she sobbed into his shoulder. "I won't let anyone hurt you..."

Nick stood a few feet away watching them as there were oblivious to the rest of the world wrapped up in each other's arms. He could feel a lump build up in his throat as he did so- something wasn't right. He had seen Sara and Greg's eyes meet across the break room for the past few weeks- he could almost feel the tension between them when they were in each other's company. Silently Nick wondered if Grissom knew about what had happened to Sara- if she had confided in him- in the way she clearly had done with Greg.

He pulled out his cell phone- finding the number he was looking for listening to the dial tone as turned his attention back to the traffic moving slowly in and out of LV Crime Lab parking lot.

"Hello?" A voice came from the other side startling him slightly.

"Grissom- Sara needs you." Nick said shortly as he observed the way Greg muttered softly into Sara's ear one hand rubbing small circles on her lower back while the other was tangled in her hair.

As Nick watched them he realised something about their embrace didn't seem right- it seemed too familiar. The way Greg's hands lingered on the exposed skin of Sara's back, the way she sunk into his arms it was all too tender. It didn't strike him as a friendly embrace- it was a lovers embrace- and the realisation felt dark and heavy as he listened to the sound of her husband's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Grissom... I think you should come back as soon as you can"


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(15) **

"Are you ready to go inside?" Greg asked softly as Sara stopped shaking in his arms, her grip slowly loosening on him.

"Yeah..." Sara nodded, shrugging her shoulders slightly wrapping her arms around herself as she pulled back. She looked vulnerable- she looked a way Greg had never seen her before and all he could think about helping her- making it all go away.

Greg led her inside by the shoulders back to the layout room where the rest of the team stood with grave expression.

"We're going to pick up Tom Gibson...Sara, Greg stay here..." Catherine instructed as Nick and Langston walked ahead of her. They had left no room for them to help, to make a decision.

"But Cath-" Sara began but was very quickly cut off.

"No buts Sara...stay here." Catherine responded with authority, giving Greg a warning look before turning on her heel to leave. Silence was left between them as they figured out how to react to the news that they had been given. Sara wanted to be there- she wanted to see the slimy grin be wiped off Tom Gibson's face once he realised that it was all over- that he'd be caught.

"I'm going to shower..." Sara said shakily her eyes focused on the ground. She could feel her skin crawl- it had all become so real- all of those memories were fresh in her mind as if it were yesterday. She could remember every detail of that first hit of meth- the increased heart rate, dizziness and blurred vision as she stumbled through the party. The blood was pounding through her veins, hitting her heartbeat at a double rate to normal- her chest feeling as if it was going to explode but she couldn't stop it- the anxiety, the energy, the feeling of being alive.

As she stepped into the shower cubical she remembered the feeling of strangers' hands searching her clothes, on her skin. The memory almost making her gag as she turned the hot water up higher attempting to wash away the imprints they had left on her pale skin as they had forced her to do things that would make most of the people in this lab sick to their stomachs.

She wanted all of things to disappear- she didn't want to feel their hands on her any more. The soap didn't seem to be doing enough to make her feel clean so she turned up the hot water again her nails digging in her skin as she clawed at herself leaving angry red marks on her arms, stomach, her hips. A loud sob escaped past her lips, tears joining the water as it cascaded to the ground.

Greg found her sitting on the bench in the locker room wrapped in nothing but a towel, the scratch marks on her arms still red and raw. It felt as if a brick had hit him as he sat down next to her, taking her hand in his own.

"Sara what happened?" He already knew but he wanted her to talk- he needed her to communicate- he needed to know she hadn't shut down.

"I just...I feel so..." another sob before the word appeared into the dark room."Dirty..."

Greg watched her cautiously- he didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to make her feel better.

"Sara...I want to help..." He offered quietly.

"I need to deal with this on my own." She responded her eyes focused on the way his fingers gently stroked her hand.

"No...No you don't Sara... Please, talk to me, tell me..." He muttered to her.

"I...I can't." She replied weakly. "I don't know what to say."

"We'll get there...I just want you to know you don't have to be alone..." Greg smiled at her hoping that he was providing her with some comfort.

"I love you..." The words just escaped past her lips in a desperate whisper- she couldn't stop herself- all of the things Greg had done for her, all of the things she had been feeling- he had never once left her side. And when she looked in his eyes she only ever so one thing- love- and now here she was attempting to mirror it.

"Sara...you...don't." Greg replied slowly his eyes on her wedding band as it gleamed in dim light. She took a deep breath- as her mind attempted to puzzle what she had just done.

"I'm so sorry Greg...I...I didn't mean to..." Tears escaped past her eyelashes and another waves of turmoil seemed to be dragging her under.

"It's okay...it's going to be fine...I understand..." He muttered to her as he wrapped her up in his arms.

Sara felt herself being surrounded by Greg's warmth as his hands gently run up and down her bare arm; she was overwhelmed by his scent. In that moment she just wanted it all to go away- for everything to stop hurting so much, for everything to stop always feeling wrong. Pulling herself tighter against him she felt the tears fall unceremoniously as she rested her head against his chest with a sense of defeat listening to the sound of his heart beat. Greg held her tighter until she stopped until, until was resting completely still in his arms. Letting a ran hand run into the damp mess of curls he inched away from her, his other hand resting on her jaw as he titled her face up to look him in the eye.

"Everything's going to be just fine..." He promised her with wide eyes. Sara nodded and without giving it a second thought she leant forwards placing her lips nervously on Greg's kissing him slowly, her hands shaking as they clung to his arms. He kissed back but quickly pulled away when he realised what he was doing.

"I...I can't take advantage of you like this..." He said once he'd cleared his throat the hurt look in Sara's eyes too much to hide from.

"You're...you're not...taking advantage." She mumbled clinging to the only type of human connection she'd had in weeks. She wanted him to make her feel better- she wanted him to wrap her up in his arms and kiss her like he wanted to- she didn't want to feel pathetic, broken or scared any more.

"Sara..." Greg started but he couldn't find the right words, nothing seemed to be the right thing to say. If he was honest with himself he wanted to kiss her back, to hold her, to make her feel happy again but he realised that it was wrong.

Sara leant in against her hand settling on his jaw this time kissing him with more fervour before she pulled one of his hands towards her body, letting it rest on the bare skin of her leg. She sighed into the kiss at the feel of his warmth brushing over her skin. Greg pushed her away breathlessly, his eyes darkened with confusion.

"Sara I love you..." He said honestly his eyes focused steadily on hers. "I need to know you do too. I'm...I'm not going to do this if you don't..."

She nodded nervously turning away from him her eye focused on her hands as she picked at her nails. Greg took her hands in his own hoping she would look at him.

"I'll wait..." he assured her gently rubbing her back in small circles, before leaving her alone to get dressed.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review!

**In The Darkest Light**

**(16) **

As Sara dressed herself she realised that not once in the previous hour had Grissom crossed her mind- the thought itself making her sad. She had let herself be wrapped up in another man's arms, carving another man's touch while her husband was thousands of miles away oblivious to the doubts that she was currently experiencing. The taste of Greg's lips lingered on her, the images of their kiss appeared in her mind and Sara guilty realised that she wanted more...she wanted him to hold her, to put his hands on her, to look into her eyes as he made love to her with all of the honesty he had. Shaking the thoughts off- she glanced at the mirror quickly running her fingers through her hair and rubbing the streaked mascara away from just below her eye.

Greg stood outside the locker-room leaning on the wall opposite the door his arms across his chest as his mind wandered back and forth from their kiss. As much as he wanted to keep a rational mind and remind himself that she was married he would find the prominent memory of how long he had waited for that one kiss to reform in his mind. For the past ten years, it had been everything he had been anticipating, it had been everything that kept him going when he felt like there was no moving on. And for those reasons Greg didn't understand why he felt more guilt in that moment than he had previously ever done in his life. He couldn't make the longing and the notion of wrong doing balance out.

Sara stepped into the hall way her eyes still red rimmed, she looked at Greg her heart welling with a cocktail of mixed emotions- she had never remembered feeling so fragile.

"They've got Tom Gibson in interrogation." He informed her knowing that she would ask to see what was happening, what he would say.

"I want to see..." She supported his predictions. Greg nodded offering her hand as they walked to the precinct.

Standing in the darkness of the observation room all of Sara's fears seemed to become reality- they had turned from thoughts, dreams and feelings into something concrete. They had turned into a human being. The look of rage on Tom Gibson's eyes was something she recognised; that look had featured heavily throughout her teenage years. Greg's fingers intertwined with hers as he stood silently beside her.

"We got you Tom, just give up." Catherine spoke through gritted teeth as she watched the man that had tormented one of her friends and most likely murdered three people sit in front of her with a calm expression.

"I want to speak to Sara." He said folding his arms across his chest, his comment resulting in a warning look from his attorney.

"You really think we'd let you see her?" Brass asked with a frown as he battled with urge to cause physical harm to the man before him.

"Fine...I've already seen more than enough of her...if you know what I mean." Tom responded smugly his eyes on the dividing screen knowing full well that Sara would be standing there. She took a deep breath turning her gaze to the ground- Greg's tightened his grip on her hand.

"Well the last time you 'saw' Sara Sidle was while you were her guardian..." Catherine began, pausing to regain control of her anger before she continued talking. "...that would have meant she was under the age of 18...a minor...so shall we just end this interview and charge you now for confessing to statutory rape?"

"I never said that..." He protested.

"Ms Willows you are putting words in my clients mouth." His attorney chimed in.

"Well we'll let him do that himself." Catherine placed out photos onto the table between them. "Tell us about these girls..."

Sara turned to Greg tears stinging her eyes; he pulled her into his arm, wrapping her up in his warmth as anger towards Tom slowly bubbled up inside him.

"They were my foster kids back in San Francisco what more is there to say?" He shrugged.

"Is that it?" Brass asked with a warning tone.

"What do you mean?" His protest was weak, and the glint in his eye was impossible to miss.

"What did you do to those girls Tom?" Catherine narrowed her eyes.

"You saw the tapes- you tell me." He seemed assured- there were no nerves in his gaze- there was no shakiness in his voice.

"You're sick." Brass spat at him.

"Did you enjoy watching your precious little Sara?" Tom asked with a smirk. The words hit Sara's system like a fall- the acids in her stomach were fighting against her, bile rising up in her throat as she clung to Greg for it to stop- for it to all go away.

"Louis Chambers, Jonathan Dennit, Jonah Philips." Catharine laid out their crime scene photos making sure that the goriest- the most violent- images were on top. "All of these played a role in attempting to stop you...all of them are dead."

"Well I guess that's lucky for me." Tom shrugged his eyes not caring about the individuals in the pictures. He had barely batted an eyes lid at the images of young girls being forced to perform sexual acts and the images of butchered men provoked an even smaller response.

"We know you did it." Brass growled.

"Do you, now?" Tom smirked.

"What evident would this be Detective Brass? Because I don't see anything but photos of crimes my client did not commit on the table." His lawyer explained leaning back in her chair with a sense of empowerment. Catherine snapped finding the pictures of the girl in the mess placing them out in front of Tom again confronting him with his crimes.

"That is where you are wrong- like your client said himself- we've seen the tapes. We have video graphic proof that he was involved in the distribution of controlled substances; the production of child pornography, lord knows how many counts of statutory rape, child endangerment and whatever else we can find. And if you don't think that's enough- we will find every single of those girls he hurt and see what they have to say about him. How does that sound?" She spat at him.

Tom turned to his lawyer for the first time ever showing any sign of weakness, showing any sign of guilt for all of the crimes he had committed.

"I didn't kill those men." He insisted. "I'll go down for the other things."

"Oh how noble of you." Catherine rolled her eyes, the anger evident in her expression.

"Is there a deal to be made?" The lawyer said quietly assaying her own guilt.

"No" And with that one word Catherine turned away walking towards the door closely followed by Brass.

"It's okay...it's over..." Greg muttered into Sara's ear, rubbing her back while he fingers tangled in her hair on the other side of the glass.

The tears fell unceremoniously as Sara held on to Greg, her arms wrapped as tightly as she could, clinging to him as if her were a life line.


	17. Chapter 17

I shall start with a warning- the content of this chapter contains drug abuse, sexual assault, depression most in rather graphic form. I don't wish to upset anyone and I hope that I do not- just feel as if it would best to warn you now.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review- it'll mean a lot to hear what people think of this story.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(17) **

"What have we missed?" Catherine asked rhetorically as the team stood around the table in the lay out room; none of them being able to mask their sombre, disappointed expressions at how the Tom Gibson interview had gone.

"There has to be something here..." Langston said with an exasperated sigh his eyes running over the evidence placed out on the table.

"Greg, Sara I want you to keep working the old case angle- it's someone who has a history with all three of our victims so most likely from San Francisco. Nick, Langston I want you chase down every lead we have from the new evidence- I want back grounds on people they came into contact with- anyone who looks suspicious especially." Catherine instructed her expression displaying determination.

The team scattered and dispersed heading to work; Catherine sat herself down at her desk once she had closed the blinds to her office glancing with a watchful eye at the door she placed the disks from the old case file into her computer. Butterflies swarmed her stomach as her eyes took in the folder names- resting on one labelled 'Sara'. Her chest constricted as she opened it, not knowing what horrors she was going to witness.

A part of her didn't want to watch the video- she wanted to pretend that nothing on them contained someone she knew, someone she cared about but she knew that wasn't enough.

_A frail younger Sara, with messy ink black curls knelt by a small table her face out of view as her vision locked on the lines of white powder before her. She glanced up at the camera, clearly agitated, before leaning down and snorting one of the lines with a rolled up note. _

"_That's it...that's a good girl." A voice cooed in the background. The camera swung around taking in the details of the small, dirty room that were in and by the time it had returned Sara had snorted all of the lines leaving an almost clear table. _

"_Can...Can I go?" She asked weakly, fidgeting with her hands. _

"_Sure...sweetheart." The same voice came again. Pulling herself to her feet, Sara took unsteady steps towards the door, her spindly fingers closing around the handle but finding that the door was locked._

"_Oh...sorry...did I say you could go...I meant to say no." _

_Sara turned back her eyes filled with desperation, the hit clearly beginning to make an impact on her system. _

"_We've been nice to you...you have to be nice to us darling. It's the way the world works." A fully grown man approached the teenage girl, his presence clearly terrifying her as she pressed her back against the door in order to leave as much space as she could between them. _

"_Like all of the other little girlies." The camera man commented; the camera again swung around, this moving slowly to display teenage girls in varying degrees of undress, performing various sexual favours for men twice their age. _

"_Please...Can I be nice some other time... I really want to go." Sara pleaded with them a tear escaping past her eyelashes. _

"_Oh Sara...Baby why are you always crying? Aren't we good to you?" The man closest to her mocked, grabbing her by the arm pulling her towards him. _

"_Please...I want to go home..." She said meekly._

"_And I want to put my dick in that filthy mouth of yours- so get on your knees." He growled her pushing her down. Sara fell on to her knees- biting her lip at the pain, shutting her eyes tightly attempting to wish herself out of the situation. The man pulled his member out, thrusting it towards her. _

"_You bite me and I'll kill you, got it slut?" He said aggressively. Sara nodded shuffling forward on her knees closing her eyes again before proceeding with the task she had been allocated choking slightly before forcing herself to gain a rhythm. _

Catherine shut down the video, clearing her screen of the filth, her head throbbing, her heart pounding against her rib cage. She felt sick. She felt the anger boil up inside her again- they needed to nail Tom Gibson. They needed to send him down for throwing vulnerable teenage girls to the wolves.

They had to nail him for all of the things he'd done to Sara.

Sara and Greg sat in the almost darkness of one of the conference rooms, a lamp in the corner lighting the area they were working in. Occasionally Greg would find himself staring at Sara- he would find himself overwhelmed with all of the things he felt for her, by how strong she was.

"I don't understand how Tom convinced the girls to take drugs." Greg seemed to be thinking out loud as his eyes scanned the statement Michelle had given.

"He broke them." Sara replied averting her eyes as she felt him turn to face her. "He'd hurt them, starve them...rape them. He'd wait until they felt like they had nothing- like they were going to die. And then he'd offer them a way out..."

"Do what he says or die." He spoke quietly, muttering slightly under his breath.

"Pretty much" Sara replied.

"Did anyone try to fight back? Did anyone manage to run away?" Greg asked; his eyes filled with understanding.

"No- because it was no better on the streets- not where we were" Sara give a small humourless smirk. "But that was before the girls realised that he planned on selling them out to pimps, drug dealers...anyone who would pay for it. But by that stage they were hooked..."

"I don't understand how social services could have missed all of this." He said with disgust at how people who were supposed to help children had done nothing of the sort leaving vulnerable children to the mercy of a monster.

Sara stood up silently turning to face away from him, she lifted her shirt up to reveal the small of her back; alongside the milky pale skin were bruises that had never faded leaving a bluish tinge, cuts that had healed leaving deep scars.

"He...he used a crow bar...he said that the next time I tried to talk to anyone about what was going on it would be my neck he'd be breaking." Sara's voice came meekly explaining the marks that had permanently cast shadows on her skin.

"Sara..." Greg breathed her name, not being able to hide the shock from seeing the evidence of her past in person.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...it's disgusting." She quickly pulled her shirt down turning to face him.

"No...It's not. He's disgusting." Greg reassured her, gently touching her shoulder.

"How can you say that when you've...you've seen...those...things." She seemed to be pleading with him to see her in the same light she saw herself in.

"Because when I saw...when saw that...when I see your scars I see how amazing, how strong you are. That even after all of that you're still here...you're still an incredible person. You never gave up- do you have idea how tough someone has to be get to where you got to?" Greg began talking hoping he would be able to get through to her. "I just hope one day you can see yourself the way I see you."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review- it'll mean a lot to hear what people think of this story.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(18) **

Sara nodded slightly before glancing down at her hands, her uncertainty shining through and it was obvious that the day Greg was talking about didn't seem too close in the future. She felt a sense of confusion wrap around her heart as she watched Greg while he frowned at the papers before him attempting to concentrate on the case file. She didn't understand how he could still love her, how after finding out all of these things he hadn't stopped seeing her in the way he had done before.

"Well there goes one lead..." Greg sighed; his eyes focused on the screen of his laptop. "Rose Simpson, the girl who originally spoke to Louis Chambers about the case...committed suicide."

"Oh God..." The words forced Sara's chest to constrict as memories of Rose floated through her mind. The last time she had seen Rose had been when they were both 17- it had been her last night in foster care before she left for Harvard. "Rose and Michelle...were really close...they were practically joint at the hip..."

"Guy...we think we've got something." Nick announced sticking his head around the door.

The team were once again around the layout room table but for the first time in the past week it felt as if they were actually moving forward.

"We reviewed witness statements, and went through all of the CCTV from the crime scenes...and we found one person present at all of them." Nick explained.

"Michelle Clearborne." Langston announced placing a picture of Michelle in the centre of the table.

"No...Michelle...couldn't have done it...she wouldn't have..." Sara insisted, not being able to comprehend what she was hearing.

"I'm sorry Sara...but at the moment she's the best we have." Nick explained.

"She's a victim...she doesn't deserve to be treated like a suspect." Sara's voice out stronger than it had ever in the last few days.

"But sometimes victims snap and they become killers..." Nick said softly, the southern drawl of his accent linger in the room, clinging to the walls. Sara became silent and still when she realised that she knew that fact only too well- thoughts of her mother crossed her mind.

"We're going to bring her in Sara..." Catherine explained with caution.

"Fine..." throwing her hands up in defeat Sara turned and walked out of the layout room knowing only too well that she was going to be asked to stay behind because of her person involvement. Catherine indicated for Greg to stay as the three of the disappeared to meet Vartann so they could bring Michelle in.

"Sara..." Greg's voice came from behind her as he followed her into the break room.

"She doesn't deserve to be dragged in here and treated like a killer Greg." Sara stated again.

"I know..." He nodded, his eyes brimming with sympathy. "But...we're just trying to do our jobs."

"Yeah..." Sara rolled her eye slightly, awkwardly putting her hands in her pockets.

"Sara...all we can do now is hope that Michelle knows who's done this. When was the last time you ate?" He asked with concern.

"I...I don't remember..." Sara replied quietly. His worry for her was overwhelming; he always noticed the slight changes in her that the others barely saw.

"Come on..." Greg offered her his hand; it lingered in the air for a moment before Sara let her fingers intertwine with his.

They walked to the closest diner to the lab, their hands still clinging to each others. It seemed strange to Sara how Greg's hand had become at hope wrapped up in hers. She glanced at him as they walked there, her heart conflicting with all of the things she felt for him. He had never stopped taking care of her.

"Grab a seat...I'll get us some coffee and some food." Greg instructed with a small smile. He returned with two mugs of steaming coffee placing one in front of Sara with a tired sigh. "French toast is on the way..."

"Greg...I want to talk." She said slowly as she reminded herself of exactly what she was doing, her eyes watching the almost black liquid swirling in the mug in her hands as she planned her exact words.

"Sure...what about?" he asked taking a sip from his mug- not noticing the seriousness of her tone.

"Us...What's...what's going in here..." She responded not meeting his eye.

"Sara..." He said quietly glancing around before leaning forward. "You don't have to do this..."

"I want to." She finally looked up at him, melting slightly under his gaze. "You've been amazing...you've been there for me through everything. You listen to me when no one else does-"

"Sara...please..." He stopped her urging her to say what was on her mind.

"Greg I think I'm in love with you..." She almost whispered to him. Their eyes met again and Greg could see the honesty that was glimmering in the dark brown and he felt as if his heart was going to explode. He had spent so many years waiting for Sara to say those exact words.

"Sara... you're married" he said sadly when he realized that things weren't as simple as he had imagined them to be all of that time ago, meeting her eye as his hands enveloped hers on the table.

"I know..." she muttered, turning her eyes away from his anticipating rejection. She should have known better- she reminded herself harshly.

"But I've always loved you. I always will. And if you're sure- this is what you want...then I am going to do everything in my power to make you happy." He assured her, placing his hand on her jaw so she would face him.

"It is..." Sara nodded; she slowly leant closer to him, her eyes focused on his lips. She kissed him tenderly sending a shock through his system.

It was the sound plates being put down on the table that drew their attention away from each other. They had been so caught up in their conversation they hadn't noticed Catherine standing by the counter watching them. Her heart stopped in her chest when she saw Sara kiss Greg. She wasn't naive about Sara and Grissom's relationship. It was hard, for both of them. Whenever she brought it up they got so defensive she always backed off. Now she was faced with Sara committing adultery in front of her very eyes it took the wind right out of her. Grissom was her friend, one of her best friends; he had been for more years than she dared count and she had berated him once for keeping quiet about this very situation. But Sara needed someone now, someone she could lean on while she was going through such a horrific ordeal. Catherine couldn't claim that she wouldn't have sought comfort from another man in the same situation; she couldn't blame Sara for needing to be close to someone. Grissom was, God knows where, doing God knows what while she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders of course she needed someone to lighten the load.

So instead of calling them out- instead of tearing away the only stability Sara had- Catherine walked away.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Short chapter to wrap up the case- if anyone's actually reading!

Please review- it'll mean a lot to hear what people think of this story.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(19) **

Catherine's heels clicked against the tiles of the lobby floor at the LVPD precinct as she went in search for Vartann, Nick and Langston. She found the three men standing outside one of the interrogation rooms with stern expressions.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Michelle's lawyer just got here." Nick informed her. Catherine glanced past the glass in to the dimly lit room to see a harsh looking man talking at Michelle as she attempted to ignore him.

"Robert Fletcher." Catherine sighed understand the grave expressions that her team mates had been wearing.

"The man's a shark." Vartann confirmed.

"I think Michelle will respond better to a woman..." She left the sentence hanging in the air not bothering to finish it knowing that Nick and Langston understood.

"Your call boss" Nick nodded heading towards the observation room closely followed by Langston.

Catherine and Vartann entered the room but Michelle barely acknowledged them, her arms folded across her chest, unable to hide the scowl that was decorating her features.

"What do you people want from me?" She demanded to know as the pair sat down opposite her.

"We just want to talk." Vartann replied.

"Let's not waste time... I did it." She announced with disinterest.

"Miss Clearborne-" But he quickly shut off with a sharp look from his client.

"Did what?" Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"I killed Louis Chambers, Johnathan Dennit and Jonah Philips." She announced definitely.

"Okay... tell us what happened." Vartann asked.

"I killed the men that didn't help Rose. She went to these people to stop Tom Gibson and you know what none of them did. Not a single one of them bothered to help her out. They just turned her away said she wasn't a credible witness or that there were holes in her stories...they killed her...they drove her to suicide." She spat at them.

"Michelle...if you're protecting someone...you don't need to worry... we can help you." Catherine said softly finding it hard to believe that the woman before her was capable of such violent crimes.

"Who? I don't have anyone...the only person I had was Rose...and they took her away from me." She was almost shouting by this stage.

"Okay." Vartann shrugged. "We're done here...cuff her." He instructed standing up waiting for Catherine to follow suit.

The four of them sat in the break room drinking bad coffee not being able to comprehend the case and what it had revealed not only the past of one of their own but also the things that been broken led to. When Rose had died Michelle had lost the only person she had felt she could rely on- she regressed to the position she had been in when she was five- alone in facing the world. But instead of accepting her fate this time the anger and the misery won.

Sara and Greg appeared at the door with exhausted expressions clearly waiting to hear what had happened in their absence.

"Michelle confessed." Catherine announced. The shock on Sara's expression was undeniable as her fingers curled into fists.

"I want to speak to her." She said with a stern expression not allowing anyone to argue with her.

Michelle sat silently opposite Sara her expression blank of any kind of expression, her eyes had lost their gleam- it was as if she had given up.

"Michelle...please, talk to me..." but there was nothing. Sara finally gave up taking a deep breath and she stood up to leave.

"You were as bad as the rest of them- you did nothing to help." Michelle said finally.

"I can help now." Sara offered the guilt obvious in her voice.

"It's too late Sara..." Michelle gave a small humourless chuckle.

"I'm sorry...I was scared-" the tall brunette began to explain.

"Really? Because I remember you going off to a good school and not looking back- you never had to work the streets." Michelle reminded her accusingly.

"I'm sorry-"

"Just leave with you Sara." The woman spat at her and with one last look over her shoulder Sara disappeared out of the door.

Greg was standing waiting for her with a worried expression; he pulled her into his arms rubbing her back gently.

"Come on...I'll take you home." He muttered soothingly into her ear. After saying a quick goodbye to the rest of the team the pair disappeared off into the evening determined to let the day end- to finally be able to breathe.

"Things are going to be alright." Greg said as he pulled up outside of Sara's house glancing at with a hopeful expression.

"Yeah..." Sara had barely heard him- her heart beat resounding in her head.

"I'll see you tomorrow..." Greg offered gently taking her hand in his own.

"Stay..." the lone word lingered in the air between them.

"Sara-" He tried to stop her- explain why it would be a bad idea but he was caught off guard by her eyes.

"I don't want to be alone tonight." She whispered to him.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(20) **

Greg could barely remember how it had happened but he and Sara had managed to make it on to her sofa. Sara was sitting cross legged facing him as they kissed her hands gripping on to Greg's shoulders while his hands remained on the sofa either side of her. He pulled away resting his forehead on Sara's breathing heavily in the small space between them.

"Are you sure?" He asked- realising that if they kept going the night would end with something that neither one of them would be able to take back. Sara just nodded her eyes still closed- her breath catching in her chest at the anticipation of what was going to happen.

"I'm scared..." she whispered to him still not opening her eyes. Greg gently tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Of what?" he whispered back tenderly.

"That...that when you see me...you won't want me any more...that'll you'll think I'm repulsive." The words seemed to catch in the air like dust slowly falling down on them.

"I'll never think that..." He promised her planting a slow kiss on her lips.

"Bedroom" she muttered to him pulling away offering him her hand.

Greg took it feeling her shake slightly as she led him to her bedroom, she turned to face him once they were there kissing him again slowly moving the both of them towards the bed. His hands remained on her waist not going anywhere they hadn't been invited. Once they were lying on the bed Greg reached to switch the bedside lamp on but Sara caught him before he had the chance.

"Please...don't." She pleaded with him and without another word Greg kissed her letting finger intertwined with Sara's to let her know that he wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to.

He planted kisses along her jaw, following the elegant curve of her neck toward her collar bone. Greg's lips discovered all of the exposed skin before looking up at Sara once he reached the barrier of her shirt; she simply just nodded her eyes shut tightly fearing his response. Greg popped the first button open kissing Sara on the lips before kissing the exposed skin- he did his repeatedly until he undone all of the buttons exposing a strip of skin from her neck to the waist band of her jeans.

"Sara if you don't want to do this...we don't have to." Greg said softly realising that her eyes had been shut this whole time and her hand curled into fists- she was scared- he could tell from the feel of her rapid heartbeat beneath him and the way she shivered at his kisses. She was worried that he would stop- he'd say something about the marks that dusted her skin.

"No...I want to." She insisted opening her eyes to look at him; Greg looked unconvinced as he gazed down at her. Sara pulled herself up kissing him on the lip while slipping her shirt from her shoulders exposing her torso.

She laid back keeping her vision locked on him waiting for him to become more analytical as his eyes washed over the scars that ran in parallel lines down her left side. But no criticism came. Greg kissed the tops of her breasts before trailing his lips down her sternum on to her stomach; his stubble from the past few days rubbed against her soft skin electrifying each touch. He made the journey back to her lips kissing her lace covered breasts on the way. Sara began dainty unbuttoning his shirt as his tongue explored the inside of her mouth- his taste settling comfortably on her lips. She slipped her hands inside his shirt her fingertips slowly dusting over his chest, over his shoulders and down his back- the muscles beneath them flexing as he moved.

He removed the shirt completely letting it fall off the side of the bed as Sara undid his belt buckle and trousers which soon followed his shirt. Greg followed the sweep of her hip with his hands, letting his fingers dance over the button on her jeans not making a move to undo them as he kissed her. He pulled away glancing down again for approval; again Sara nodded.

"We can go slower..." He muttered to her.

"No...No...This is fine." Sara replied her low voice breaking as she became aware of how dry her throat had become. After planting a kiss on her cheek Greg undid her jeans removing them from her long legs moving them out of the way. Sara's thighs involuntarily fell apart providing space for Greg between them- but instead he laid down next to her on his side. He ran his fingertips along the curves of her lace bra, down her stomach tracing patterns on the smooth skin before he headed further down. Sara gasped as his fingers reached the black lace of her panties. His hand disappeared inside of the material barely touching her as he waited for her to stop shivering.

Sara's cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment when she realised that her arousal was more than obvious when Greg finally touched her. His hand moved against her at a slow pace changing motions every so often, creating an unbearable heat and ache.

"Greg..." Sara gasped, her hips lifting off the bed towards his touch. Greg slowly pushed two fingers inside of her, his thumb running in a constant circular motion over her clit. Her hands gripped the fabric of the bedspread surrounding her, her head rolling back exposing her neck for Greg's lips as he continued steadily building her up.

"Greg...Please...now..." She tugged at his wrist, letting him know that it wasn't enough anymore. He removed the last fabric barriers between them and moved into the space between her legs.

Greg brushed Sara's hair aside, gazing into her eyes before he kissed her entering her as slowly as he could. In that moment it was as if the rest of the world had stilled- the noise of traffic faded away, the hurt seemed to dull. The only thing that matter in that moment was each other.

He began moving over her eliciting a gasp from Sara as her hands gripped on to his biceps, she strained her body against his slow, deep thrusts. She crossed her ankles together behind his legs creating a tighter fit, the increased friction causing Greg to groan into her skin as he continued inexorably moving into her. She began matching his motions; rotating her hips against his as their bodies collided each time she could feel him growing harder and larger inside of her.

Sara's breathing came out in small pants as she could sense the tension in her lower abdomen and her chest constricting. Greg increased his pace as Sara's hips stammered against his; she came in a rush of heat her muscle clenching around him, his name escaping into the confides of the room. She could feel him pulsate for the last time before he released himself.

They remained perfectly still catching their breathing, exchanging soft kisses for a few moments before Greg pulled out of her rolling on to his back. Sara rested her head on his chest listening to his heart beat as he wrapped his arms around her.

"That was...incredible." He said breathlessly to her. Greg realised he had never felt like that about anyone else- never had sex been so intense for him.

"It was..." Sara agreed kissing the spot above his heart.

She acknowledged that it had meant something- they had shared more than a bed- they had given themselves to each other body and soul.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Shout out to Charlie-who basically wrote half of this chapter!

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(21) **

The morning light poured through the windows illuminating the room; Sara reached out her hand to find Greg had already gotten up. She could feel her heart sink as she began wondering if he'd left without a word. But the sound of humming in time with the radio told her otherwise. With a small side she tossed the duvet aside finding the silk robe left by her dresser she wrapped it around herself and went in search for Greg.

He was stood by the stove a spatula in one hand, and a confused expression as he kept his eyes focused on the pan before him. He indicated for Sara to sit down and began pouring her a cup of coffee. They had an encounter very similar to this not long ago- but things were different. This time it was Sara sitting and watching while Greg made breakfast. This time his stay at her house had been less than innocent.

"So...last night..." He said slowly, his eyes lighting up at the memories as he leant against the counter.

"...It meant a lot to me." Sara replied equally slowly- Greg nodded with a smile feeling thankful that she hadn't broken his heart and told him that she regretted what they'd done.

"Me too" he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "I made French toast..." Greg changed the topic of conversation placing a plate down in front of Sara.

"Oh...looks good." Sara smiled taking a bite off her fork. "Tastes good too...they're even better than Gil's."

There was silence between them as neither one of them knew how to respond- that one sentence had shattered the facade that they had both created. It had brought to light exactly what they were doing and the things they had done wrong.

"I'm sorry..." Sara looked away from Greg. "I shouldn't have mentioned..."

"It's okay..." He assured her. "I understand..."

"I...really don't want to lose what we have Greg." She continued despite his assurance. "But...I don't know...how..." She left the sentence unfinished knowing that Greg would understand exactly what she was saying.

"We can work through this...together." He soothed.

"Thank you..." Sara smiled weakly at him.

"For what?" Greg asked with raised eyebrows.

"For last night...for this...for everything" She gushed as tears stung her eyes.

"Hey...hey...hey...come here." Greg walked around the counter pulling Sara into his arms holding her tightly against him. "It's okay...things are going to take time to work out, but we'll get there eventually...we will, I promise."

Those words, his voice, his smile all had her unravelling within seconds- she melted into his arms as if everything else in the world had faded. And it was as if everything was going to be alright.

When they got to work they found the rest of the team sitting in the break room, lost in their own thoughts and conversations. They barely looked up but once they had Sara realised that there was something different about the way they were looking at her, perceiving her. She felt a lump building up in her throat and she silently poured herself and Greg a cup of coffee.

Grissom cautiously stepped through the doors into the lab feeling strangely nervous. It had been such a long time since he had walked these halls, so long that he wasn't even sure he recognised them anymore. So much had changed in the time he had been gone, both at the lab and at home. If he could call it that, he no longer recognised the images hanging on the walls and the mementos dotted around didn't stir anything deep in his mind but questions. Sara had been creating a life for herself back in Las Vegas, the town he had taken her to in the first place, the town where they had created their cocoon, their sanctuary. Now he was a visitor.

He signed the visitor's log, smiling at a receptionist he didn't recall and nodding at people who didn't remember him. There had been a time when he would have called this place home. A time when everyone knew his name and held him in high esteem, those people were long gone now. They had moved on from the lab and from the legacy he had left behind. The few people that remained in place would be happy to see him at least. Nick, Greg, Catherine and Sara.

His Sara. When Nick had called to say she was in trouble he had felt his heart tear in two. Not at the fact that she was going through a tough time but at the fact that she hadn't felt the need to tell him herself. They had been detaching lately, pulling away from each other and it wasn't until Nick's call that he realised just how far out of reach she seemed to be. He could only hope he hadn't lost her altogether.

He had thought about surprising her at home. He could have turned up with breakfast and a bunch of flowers, pretending it was an impromptu visit or romantic gesture but he knew it was almost impossible to predict when she would be at home and for how long. He could catalogue the migration patterns of the most elusive insects in the world but Sara Sidle was still a mystery to him.

A smile tugged at his lips as the familiar sound of voices found his ears. Nick's Texan drawl teasing Catherine while she snapped back as quick as lightening, Ray's low soothing tone's trying to dispel the tension as Greg interjected with his own comments. The companionship of the people gathered around that table made him yearn for a return to the good old days. The days when the team was a family, a unit of no compare. Time had taken that away, taken Warrick and himself out of the equation.

It was strange to him, he had never regretted leaving. Never before had he considered it a bad decision but the second he laid eyes on his beautiful wife, detached from the conversation and staring at her hands he wished he could take it all back, everything that had ever hurt her so he could bring the light back to her darkened, broken eyes.

When her eyes locked with his he faltered for a second. He didn't expect to find such uncertainty there, such confusion and despair.

He had expected her to throw herself into his arms, he had anticipated the breath-taking smile he was accustomed to but instead he found the broken shell of his wife sitting there looking at him with eyes he didn't recognise.

Eyes plagued by ghost's she had insisted she had buried a long time ago.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(22) **

Sara stood up on shaky feet and made the walk over to where her husband was standing as slowly as she could. She was fully aware that the rest of the team had their eyes on them, that Greg, was watching her and the way she responded to her husband.

"Gil..." His name settled like a foreign language on her tongue. Sara realised that after all of this time it was as if she had forgotten how she was supposed to be acting around her husband; he had slowly become a stranger to her.

"Honey...Are you okay?" Grissom realised that the question was redundant, it was clear that she was not.

"I'm...fine..." She spoke slowly, as if there was a right answer. He couldn't help but frown at her- she most certainly didn't look fine. The darkness in her eyes said a million and one things but it did not say she was alright.

"Nick called...he said you needed me." Grissom offered softly, his eyes dancing around the room to find stony expressions on the faces of his friends. There was something wrong, something had happened but no one was saying a word- leaving it up to Sara to speak for herself but she didn't seem to be managing the task.

"Sara talk to me...Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He seemed to be pleading with her to open up to him, to tell him what was going on because his mind had jumped the track to the worst possible things already.

"Grissom...let's go...somewhere more private..." She turned quickly back to the group careful to avoid Greg's eye knowing full well that she was breaking his heart by the few words she had said.

"Sure...sure..." Grissom kept his attention focused on her, his hand running up and down her arm in order to sooth her but it was not doing anything to help.

Sara guiltily realised in that moment that no one seemed to be able to calm her the way that Greg did. No one's touch, voice or arms made her feel as safe and cared for as he did. She also realised just how wrong it was for that to be the case. The man standing before her now was her husband; he was the person she had promised she would love and treasure till death. But had she not already given herself, body and soul, to someone else?

She walked ahead of him her heart heavy with a mixture of emotions while he followed her completely oblivious to her conflicts, to her betrayal.

Greg watched her walk away with her husband and he could feel every word they had exchanged in the past few days disappearing into nothingness because the man she truly loved had returned. Everything they had done had just been Sara attempting to seek comfort through a tough time. He had been there for her but it had not meant that she loved him. Greg realised that he should have known that- he knew he shouldn't have let himself fall so hard for what they had created because it was never supposed to last.

Grissom sat himself down in one of the seats of the conference room that Sara and Greg had been working in the previous day as his wife paced anxiously in front of him. Each of her breaths was becoming more laboured as she attempted to figure out where to start, and what exactly to say.

"Grissom...there are some things...I haven't told you..." She began shutting her eyes as she braced herself against the wall.

"Sara...what are you talking about?" He sounded exasperated, exhausted even, and Sara thought sadly about how that was how their relationship had always been.

"There are things about my past I haven't told you..." She took a deep breath and began pacing again not being able to look into his eyes as she spoke. "I...never told you about what it was like in foster care...and I thought I'd be fine because you'd never have to find out what I was like then..."

Grissom watched his wife as she spoke at him, rather than to him and he could feel a lump build up in his throat with anxiety as he wondered what sorts of horrors he would be hearing. Sara began talking, and she kept going until her throat felt like the desert. Tears stung her eyes as she did everything she could stop herself from crying as she told every single one of the stories that she had had to relive in the past week.

Once she had finished Grissom watched her with a blank, shocked expression, not knowing how to respond. He wanted to stand up, to pull her into his arms and make sure that no one ever hurt her again but he didn't seem to be able to move. He was glued to the spot that he was sitting in as all of the words Sara had said swam around in his head.

In the break room the rest of the team sat waiting for them to return, for there to be some kind of verdict of what was going to happen next. Because if they were honest no one seemed to know how they were planning on moving forward after everything that had happened.

Greg kept his eyes focused on the cup of coffee that was slowly cooling down in his hands a bitter taste lingered on his tongue as he attempted to think of what the future would bring for him. He attempted to build a barricade between his heart and reality as he realised most likely Sara would walk away. She would fall in love with her husband again and leave him where he had been all of this time; second place. He imagined what life without her would be like because he'd had such a hard time adjusting to it last time, he didn't know if he could cope without her there. He realised that he didn't know if he wanted to cope without her there. They had grown so close together, they had learnt to depend on each other and he feared the moment she was taken away he would not know who he was any more.

"You called Grissom?" Greg asked Nick with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah...I think he had a right to know what was going on." The Texan shrugged.

"And you couldn't leave it up to Sara to decide when she wanted to tell him?" The younger man almost growled at him.

"You just didn't want Grissom back because of what you're doing." Nick accused.

"What are you talking about?" Greg stood up his hands curled up into fists. Nick followed suit standing square in front of his friend. It was as if they had changed, as if they were no longer the same people anymore.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Greg..." He couldn't bring himself to word the suspicious he had, they had all been friends for so long he couldn't bring himself to verbalise how much Greg and Sara would hurt Grissom were he right.

"I don't." And with that Greg stormed out leaving a trail of anger behind him as he did so.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(23) **

Greg stood outside in the spot where he and Sara used to share smokes watching people as they walked by oblivious to him- unaware of his conflicts and problems. Taking a deep breath he lit a cigarette leaning against the wall with exhaustion. His body reeling from everything that had happened, it felt as if life had refused to slow down and let him catch up.

So many things that happened in the past few days but now this- he acknowledged that it was time to decide. It was time to make a choice about Sara and what they had created.

How did Nick know?

The question seemed to linger in his mind persistently- it had only been the once- it wasn't a proper affair he'd convinced himself. He tried to run through all their encounters in his mind. The times when he had comforted her, held her hand, dried her tears. Nick could have been in the background the whole time. He could have been reading the situation all wrong. He and Sara seemed to have fallen into sin without realising, their relationship had evolved involuntarily.

Could it be they had been indulging in an affair long before either of them realised it?

He would never have wanted to hurt Sara, to betray Grissom, not intentionally but they couldn't say that whatever they had done had just happened. They must have seen it coming. Maybe he could have stopped it. He'd taken advantage of Sara in her emotional state; he should have said no, he should have assured her that she didn't want to throw away her marriage. He should have said no when she asked him to say. He shouldn't have made love to her.

With that thought he stubbed out the cigarette in his hand and lit another one, deciding that chain smoking was his only comfort in those moments.

Inside Sara was staring at her husband attempting to figure out what had happened, where their connection had gone, their spark. Even though the distance had strained their relationship she had always hoped that perhaps seeing him again would change that.

But it didn't.

She was looking at him, hoping, wishing that he were someone else.

Sara guiltily thought of Greg; the way he'd held her hand throughout all of this, the way he'd touched her the night before. And she realised that she was in love with him. It was not just a moment's weakness but a friendship that had grown into something else while she hadn't been looking.

"Come on, let's go home honey." Grissom said, dragging her back to reality. Home. A home she was suppose to share with her husband, a home that had been used to host her night of adultery.

"Can you give me fifteen minutes...there are some things I need to sort out?" She asked, meekly while she attempted to guess where Greg was at that given time. Grissom watched her cautiously before he replied.

"Sure...I'll be in Catherine's office." He responded slowly, planting a kiss on her forehead before indicating that it was okay for her to go. Sara gave him a quick nod before she headed out of the door in search of Greg.

Like she expected she found him standing in their smoking spot, his eyes staring off into the distance as he lost himself in thoughts. He took a drag from his cigarette, the sound of her foot steps as she approached him catching her attention.

She took the cigarette from his hand taking a drag before handing it back to him, with a sad look in her eyes she attempted to organise her thoughts as quickly as she could.

"Greg...I'm in love with you-"She started but he quickly cut her off with a miserable smile.

"You're not Sara, I took advantage of you. We need to forget anything happened between us. You're husband's here, you need to go home and try and make things work with him." Greg began talking but it was as if nothing he was saying made sense. The words he was saying didn't match the look in his eyes Sara noted bitterly.

"I'll leave him...I'll tell him tonight. I can't do this any more...I can't pretend Greg...I do love you, I do." She insisted, tears making themselves evident in her eyes.

"Sara...Please..." Greg looked away from her knowing that if he kept it up he would give in, he would pull her into his arms now and never let her go. He knew he'd take her inside and kiss her in front of everyone just to tell them that what they had was real. It meant something.

"Why are you doing this?" She demanded to know her hands curling up into fists as she resisted, as she prepared for a fight.

"Because...it's the right thing to do..." he seemed to finding the words and spitting them out knowing that it wasn't the truth. The right thing to do would be to own up to what they had done and the fact they were in love with each other, but he realised he couldn't let Sara throw everything away.

"So you're going to let me walk away?" She asked in barely a whisper. "I thought you were different Greg..."

"Sara I'm sorry..." He hated to see her hurting; he hated to be the one hurting her

"No you're not Greg...you're just covering your arse." She spat at him.

"Sara I'm not- I just don't want you to make a decision you're going to regret. I don't want you to walk away from your marriage and then realise it was for nothing...that you don't really love me...that I was just there." Greg sighed, looking at her defeated.

"Is that what you think...that you were just there?" A tear slid down her cheek as she looked at him with all the honesty she had, in that moment she felt so small, so broken.

"Sara..." But words escaped him- everything he should have said in that moment seemed to disappear and disintegrate.

"What is it going to take to prove to you that I love you?" She seemed to be genuinely asking him. And Greg realised in that moment that he didn't have the answer, he didn't know what either one of them could say or do to turn this situation around.

"Sara I wish I could tell you that there was some kind of magic fix- something to make this easier..." As much as he wanted her to want him- he knew that he couldn't let her give up on Grissom- not just yet.

"Okay..." She took a deep breath wiping away the tears that had formed in her eyes. "I'll go home...with Grissom. I'll give my marriage a go even though it doesn't make me happy. I'll walk away from this. But I just want you to know. Last night, when we made love, no one else has ever made me feel like that. No one makes me feel as safe as you do. There is no one I can honestly look in the eye and say I would give up everything for...no one apart from you...But I'll do what's _best_ for me and walk _away_, if that's what _you_ want."

And with those words lingering in the air alongside cigarette smoke Sara walked away from Greg.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(24) **

Catherine watched Grissom cautiously as he sat himself down in the seat opposite her, attempting to gage how comfortable he was feeling about being reunited with Sara. After seeing Sara and Greg together she had been forced to accept that she was officially in the danger zone of a messy affair. If the details were out- if they were caught- not only her colleagues but her friends were going to be hurt. From what she had seen Sara and Greg looked like they had only just embarked on their affair rather than two people who had been secretly meeting for a significant period of time. That should have eased the blow- she thought.

"So how have you been?" She asked sitting herself down placing a mug of hot tea down for her old friend. The change in their interactions from the last time they had met surprised her- and she wondered if Sara felt the same distance from her husband as she currently did.

"I've been well- you?" He took a sip of the tea studying his surroundings as if looking for obvious changes. The vagueness of his answer seemed to give him away- it was clear to her that he was experiencing some conflict but was not willing to open up about it on his own accord.

"Things have been good..." Catherine nodded- realising it would be best to wait before pushing him for details. "Lindsey has gone to college- the house is has been surprisingly quiet without her but I miss her being there..."

"Ah- I can imagine." Grissom nodded, again silence settling in as he took another sip from his tea.

"How are things between you and Sara?" She realised that she couldn't help herself. She needed to understand the full situation- she needed to know what it was that she'd found herself involved in. Grissom a dear friend, someone she who had her back for years was about to have his heart broken. Whether Sara and Greg were in love with each other the knowledge of their betrayal would no doubt tear him apart. And as much as she understood Sara's motives she couldn't help but feel slightly infuriated at the younger woman for putting her in his position.

"Things are okay..." He shrugged slightly as if unsure of the status of his marriage. And as much as Catherine wanted to tell him that it would be best to cut his losses and walk away now she kept her mouth shut.

"Just- okay?" She continued with her questioning not knowing of any other way to proceed. "What's wrong?"

"I just don't understand why she didn't tell me..." He looked up at her as if looking for answers. "I know it must have been hard opening up about her past...but...I thought she knew she could trust me."

"She does Gil...sometimes we don't want to people we love to see us in our worst positions." Catherine attempted to understand Sara and explain to Grissom what had been going on while he'd been away. They had always been such complex people and it was in that moment that Catherine realised what a multifaceted relationship they really had.

"But I'm her husband...if there's anyone she should be able to share her worst with..." He seemed to be hurt and it was obvious that he could feel the rift that had appeared between them.

"You need to talk to her about this Gil- holding it all in isn't going to help either one of you." Catherine advised wondering what she would have done had it been hiding the secrets of her past. But it was pointless- she and Sara were such different people and even if their actions had matched their reasoning would have been different.

"I know..." He took a deep breath and it was as if this whole time he had been waiting for someone to tell him what to do. "That's not the only thing..."

"What else is going on, I know you well enough to know when you're hiding something Gil Grissom?" She shifted in her seat.

"It's the distance..." He began clearing his throat. "We don't get to see each other anywhere near enough to be able to maintain a fulfilling...physical... relationship." He said with some embarrassment.

"Do you know what Sara thinks?" Catherine asked- her mind quickly wandering to the roll Greg had been playing.

"No...I haven't spoken to her about it. I didn't want to put any pressure on her." He shrugged.

"I don't think you'd be putting any pressure on her by asking her how she feels Gil..." She knew the comment seemed a bit harsh- but sometimes she realised that her friend needed things spelt out for him in the department of romance.

"Our relationship has never been about...that." He shrugged. "We've always been so...connected."

"And you don't feel connected anymore?" It then hit Catherine- perhaps this was what the affair was about?

Sara was a woman in her thirties married to someone who was barely there- someone who believed that sex was not the most important part of their relationship. Greg must have filled that void- made her feel desired. He was someone she trusted- with her secrets, her doubts, her heart.

"We've just been so disconnected- it's like we're living two completely separate lives that just happen to over-lap sometimes." He sounded defeated- as if he didn't know what he wanted any more.

"Have you thought about moving back to Vegas?" Catherine asked as if it were an obvious question.

"I have...but things are going to so well in Paris..." He took a deep breath. "And there are some other things that I'm not sure about..."

"What other things?" Catherine raised an eye brow not understanding what Grissom found so important that he was willing to sacrifice his marriage.

"I...I think I have feelings for someone else..." He admitted cautiously meeting his friend's eye. Catherine looked back at him baffled wondering how he had managed that considering how long it had taken him to realise that he had feelings for Sara in the first place.

"Who is it?" She asked nervously wondering what this twist in the love-triangle would mean for her friends.

"A fellow lecturer in Paris..." He spoke slowly the word didn't match who he was in any way. "We...we've been working together recently...and...We seemed to just..." He trailed off not being able to finish the sentence- the idea alone feeling like adultery.

"Have you...pursued her?" She asked the question almost predicting the answer the fact alone making her feel worse for the secret she was keeping.

"No...No, I couldn't." He took a deep breath glancing around nervously. "But... I don't know what to do."

"You need to talk to Sara..." Catherine hoped that perhaps they would both confess to their misgivings and end this without the bitter-notes that usually accompanied the end of any relationship.

"I know...but where do I start?" He seemed to be pleading with her to make this easier but they both knew that was not the case.

"Gil...you're unhappy there is chance that Sara is too. And is it worth it forcing something that is working? Talk to Sara and tell her how you feel."

"You're right..." Grissom nodded in agreement. "I need to tell her..."


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(25) **

"I'm ready to go home..." Sara appeared at the door, her eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks flushed- it was clear that she been crying. But still she forced a weak smile realising that she would be asked what was wrong if she did not.

"It was nice catching up with you Catherine. I'm certain I'll be seeing you soon..." Grissom smiled- his eyes seemed to be asking her not to tell his wife anything that had been said in their conversation. And silently Catherine agreed to keep quiet. "Let's go home honey..."

"I'll see you around." Catherine smiled attempting to pretend that everything was fine- that things were just like always. She wondered if Sara, Grissom and Greg felt the feeling of foreboding as much as she did.

Grissom and Sara walked silently to the car avoiding goodbyes and conversations with their friends as they passed by- in the air between them the things that they needed to say silently lingered. She caught Greg's eye as they drove out of the parking lot but his defeated expression did nothing to calm the anger that was bubbling up inside her. She wondered how he could end things the way he had done. How after everything they felt for each other he could just say that it would be best for them to just walk away and pretend that nothing had happened.

Had he not felt the same things she had done the other night?

Had he woken up thinking that it was a mistake but finding that he couldn't say the right words to explain?

Thinking about all of these things it hurt far too much- because she hadn't stopped herself from falling for him. All of this time Sara had been so caught up in keeping her head above water that she forgotten not to fall in love with Greg. She had woken in his arms to realise that he had become home. The thought itself was like a weight on her heart as she tried to stop herself from crying- mourning for something that never should have been. To stop herself from giving away everything that she had been hiding.

Sara took a deep breath turning to face her husband- she realised that she didn't know what to say to him. It was as if with each word they were getting closer to the truth coming out. They were getting closer to the admission that she had betrayed him. She wondered what he would say if she confessed- if she admitted that she had crossed a line with a friend- that she had made love to him in their marital bed. She imagined herself acknowledging that she was not worthy of his love because deep down she knew it was the truth. From the moment they had met she had been someone striving to be the source of his perfection. But in honesty she was far from it.

She was anything but perfect.

Life had broken her down in ways that he could have barely perceived as she'd smiled at him across the lecture theatre that day. But still they had forged something. It had taken years of heart break and hurt but they had been love and it all just seemed like collateral damage.

"How was your flight?" She asked hoping that small talk would lead to something- some sort of definite knowledge of what was going to happen. Sara needed to know that her marriage was really over that there was nothing that could be done to save their crumbling relationship. It was closure she was looking for.

"It was okay- there was some turbulence but nothing too significant." Grissom shrugged as he kept his eyes focused on the traffic guilt filling him as he thought about how he would tell Sara that things between them weren't working anymore and it felt as if he couldn't keep trying. After everything that had happened to her it just felt so wrong to be leaving Sara alone, he knew that it was a bad reason to stay but as he attempted to reacquaint himself with their relationship Grissom realised it was the only reason he could think of at all.

Grissom wondered if she felt as exhausted as he did sitting here trying to act as if nothing had changed. He attempted to assess if she felt that small spark of resentment towards him about the long haul flights, the late night phone conversations and the constant compromises. As much as he didn't want to snap at her the underlying anger was too much to ignore.

"Did you watch any of the in-flight movies?" Sara smiled at him knowing exactly what his answer would be.

"Of course not..." Grissom rolled his eyes. The empty conversation didn't seem like enough when there were so many things that needed to be said.

They reached_ their_ house with nothing between them but silence- Sara couldn't help but let her mind wander to the other night. The way Greg had driven her home, the way she'd asked him to stay. He'd always managed to comfort her when she was at her worst. There was something about the understanding in his eyes, the warmth in his embrace and the sound of his whispers that made everything alright.

But why wasn't that the case this time?

Sara opened the door into the place that Grissom should have recognised as his home but the house seemed just so unfamiliar to him. Everything about it just seemed to be out of place- or rather- in the place Sara wanted it. It was her house. Not his.

"Do you mind if I rest? I'm still feeling a little jet lagged." Grissom asked nervously realising that now they were completely alone their feelings were going to have to be addressed.

"Of course...go ahead." Sara didn't stop him the same thoughts stuck in her mind. She didn't know how to go about talking to Grissom about what was happening between them- they had never been good at communication.

Hadn't that been the very reason they had found themselves in separate countries?

Sara hadn't been able to tell Grissom that she couldn't stay in Paris any more- that she was bored with the life they had created. She had never intended to simply just hang off his arms and attend the events that the university threw while pretending to be happy with waiting at home for his returning, reading dull books and watching day time television; Sara had always been her own person. But the longer she stayed in Paris the more that seemed to slip away. She had just become 'Gil Grissom's wife' and she wondered when she had started to see being labelled as that a bad thing.

When that call had come from Ecklie she had taken the opportunity immediately- she needed to get out and become her own person again rather than just an extension of him. She had kept her last time, and she planning on keeping her own identity no matter what the cost. A part of her wondered if she should have stayed in Paris because it was evident to her in that moment that her cost of leaving had been her marriage.

Perhaps if she had stayed this mess would not have been created?

Grissom lay in bed his eyes focused on the ceiling as he attempted to unravel what was happening; his attempts at falling asleep were proving to useless and he just hoped Sara would not appear. He had barely been able to look her in the eye since he had returned.

Separately they both wondered what it would take to come clean and admit that they were no longer in love with each other.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(26) **

With a sigh Sara picked herself up off the sofa making her way up stairs- she was exhausted and she didn't want to think about the things that were going wrong. She just wanted to close her eyes and shut it all off.

Grissom was pretending to be asleep; his breathing was too uneven, too shallow to be that of someone actually in the state of unconsciousness. But Sara wasn't going to be the one to force his hand to start the process of breaking away from each other. She knew it was wrong but she felt obliged to try and make things work considering everything that they had been through together it seemed wrong to just throwing everything away with one line, one confession.

They needed to end this properly- to be able to look each other in the eye and tell the truth about all the feelings they had been hiding from each other.

Grissom eventually rolled on to his side, facing Sara's back as she attempted to rest her tried body and exhausted mind. He thought of how much he used to miss simply just sleeping next to her. He would lie awake in his Paris apartment knowing that something was missing- the way her frame felt beside him, the sound of her breathing, and the smell of her skin- sleeping felt wrong without those things.

When had that stopped?

He reached out, touched her shoulder to see if she would respond, if she would turn to face him with those coffee coloured eyes darkened with desire like the times he had seen them before. Sara turned- but there was nothing there. Her expression was void of any tangible emotion but she still kissed him. Her taste settled on his lips like familiarity and he found his body responding while his mind was elsewhere.

It felt so wrong to the both of them to be doing this but they were curious- they were wondering if there was still chance they could recapture the sparks that had once made their relationship last across the oceans and landscapes that separated them.

Sara let him undress her hoping with all of her being that he would not see the marks of her affair upon her skin; she thought of the way Greg had taken his time relishing the ability to discover her body. She could feel her blood coursing through her veins as she recalled the delicate traces of his hands on her. With a small amount of spite she pushed those thoughts aside. She needed to stop thinking about him.

Grissom hovered over her before he entered and it was if he had sensed her hesitation. The look in her eye didn't speak of want or longing- it was sorrowful. It was as if she wanted everything to stop hurting and this was her last chance- her last opportunity- so she was simply just enduing it.

When had their bodies stopped fitted together perfectly?

If either one of them needed more evidence that they had fallen out of love then this was enough. Sara closed her eyes a gasp escaping her lips as she pretended the feelings of desire as her husband was on top of her as he mindlessly thrusted himself into her attempting to seek some form of absolution.

His mind was filled with so many thoughts and none of them were appropriate for his current predicament he realised. He should not have been thinking about _her_ while he made love to his wife. Not that this felt like making love. From her gritted teeth and tightly shut eyes it was clear Sara was just simply allowing him- and in that moment it felt as if he was being hit by a train.

It was as if she was taking the feeling of his hands on her, his kisses and his movements as something that was just required while her mind let her think of herself in another place. There was not pleasure in the way she moved against him- she was not seeking him- she was simply playing her part doing what was necessary for him to finish so they could be separate again. A dark part of him wondered if this was the method she had used when enduring years of abuse from those monsters. If she would pretend she were somewhere else as they used her as a sexual object.

Was that what she thought he was doing to her now- using her to handle the sexual frustration that he had been feeling due to their distance?

And in that moment it all stopped.

Grissom didn't want to be that man to her. He never wanted her to confuse the way he treated her like others had done.

He pulled out of her rolling onto his back- his eyes focused on the ceiling.

"I'm sorry...that...that's never happened before..." He seemed to be muttering to himself. Sara hadn't moved- she still was laying in the same position that she had been in before- her eyes still shut.

"It's okay...don't worry about it..." She spoke softly as if trying to assure him that _it_ was not a problem. "We're both tired..."

A bitter taste lingered in his mouth as he wondered if she had been glad he hadn't been able to continue. Had she just been silently thankful that he wasn't inside her anymore? Was she glad that she did not have to pretend that she wanted his hands on her?

There was silence as they both of them realised that there was no where they could go from there- there was no conversation that would make everything better because after all of this time they were beyond repair.

After half an hour of trying to sleep Sara climbed out of bed heading to the bathroom; she began filling the tub running her nails up and down her arms the compulsion to rid of the feeling of being dirty always very close under the surface of her skin when she felt stressed or under pressure.

Climbing into the water she closed her eyes leaning against the edge of the tub attempting to let the warm water sooth her. Letting her hands wash over her body she wanted nothing more than to be able to wash away Greg's touch. She didn't want memories of what his hands felt like on hers, what he's lips taste like, what it felt like when he...

"Honey...Can I come in?" The sound of her husband's voice sent a jolt through her body.

"Yes..." She shouted back clearing her throat.

"I thought you could use a drink..." He appeared in the small space a glass of red wine in his hand- he offered it to her with a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you." Sara nodded in appreciation taking the glass from his hands.

"Sara...We need to talk" He began but realised that he didn't know where to start.

"I know..." She nodded in agreement. "Maybe we could have breakfast after shift?"

"You're going to go to work?" Grissom wanted to ask her to stay at home, to rest but he knew Sara well enough to know that if she had her mind set on something she would make it happen. He also knew that work was her way of coping- her way of not thinking about things.

"Yes, I need to move on from this..." Sara sighed; she leant back taking a sip of her wine.

"If that's what you want..."


	27. Chapter 27

**In the Darkest Light**

**(27) **

A few hours later as Sara walked through the lab it felt as if everyone's eyes were on her, burning through her skin looking into the person she was underneath it all. It felt like a fall off a ten-story building because she knew in that moment that she had never felt so frail, so small compared to everything and everyone around her.

The stories of what Sara Sidle had been through as a child had slowly spread like wildfire. It was everyone's morbid fascination to hear in detail the way she had suffered. Some had sought out Archie who had seen all of the tapes first hand. Some wanted him to summarise what had happened in the over fifty hours of footage that had been captured of their colleague. He had given them grave looks and walked away.

It made him sick to his stomach that they would prey on one of their own in this way. And not just anyone- Sara who had fought their corner at some stage, who had dealt with the depression of being taken and left for dead by serial killer. She was someone who had been strong enough to handle everything that had happened to her and still be here fighting against the wrong in the world. And still people would look into his office for gory details of how she had been sexual, physically and psychologically abused by those sick perverts. They wanted more. They all wanted more sorrow.

It was as if Sara was less a person and more a source for gossip.

With a deep breath and her head held high she walked into the break room to see the rest of the team sitting with mugs of hot coffee ready for another day at work. They looked shocked to see her but still they smiled and offered her a seat and a mug of her own.

"Sara...I wasn't expecting you back so soon." Catherine commented as she shifted through case slips.

"I know...but I need to keep my mind off things at the moment." She sighed carefully meeting Greg's eye letting him that he was a part of those 'things' that she was attempting to escape from.

"If you're sure you're ready then we're glad to have you back." She smiled warmly at the younger woman wondering how things were with Grissom- if he had admitted his feelings for someone else and if she'd had a chance to confess her relationship with Greg.

"I'm sure." Sara gave a weak smile.

"Okay... Sara, Langston you two a have a trash run on Freemont Street. Nick, you and Greg are with me working a triple in Seven Hills." Catherine informed every one of their tasks and stood up to leave. "I'll meet you boys there- I have a meeting with Ecklie."

The tension between Greg and Nick was like smoke in the air as they both avoided the conversation that they both knew they needed to have.

"So why did you do it?" Nick eventually asked his Southern drawl filling the department issue Denali as they found themselves stuck in traffic. It was as if the heat was provoking him to lash out as the air conditioning slowly spat out random bursts of cold air.

"Do what?" Greg raised an eye brow in his direction attempting to keep his cool not wanting to give into the argument that was inevitably on Nick's mind.

"Why have you been sleeping with Sara?" His friend asked accusingly.

"I haven't." He seemed to try and assure both himself and his companion.

"Really...because you could have fooled me" The older man gave a small humour-less laugh as he kept his eyes focused on the cars ahead of them. "You two have been looking mighty close recently"

"She's a friend...she's been going through some stuff...I've been helping her" Greg responded flippantly as if it was obvious.

"And what part of being a friend involves having an affair?" His tone was still clearly accusing.

"We didn't have an affair." Greg again stated.

"Did it make you feel like a man when you did it?" Nick kept pushing his buttons as if they were in an interrogation room rather than two friends. As he thought about what Greg had done he wondered if he really wanted to be friends with him anymore.

"No." A growl came in response.

"Was she crying on your shoulder...and you just couldn't help yourself. There she was in your arms crying, hurt, lonely...she trusted you Greg..." He persisted.

"It wasn't like that." Greg growled at him against, asking him silently to stop.

"What was it like then Greg? Are you telling me you didn't take advantage of her?" Nick seemed to be laughing at him as if he were a delusional suspect rather than a friend who'd made a mistake.

"I didn't take advantage of her; I'm in love with her." That sentence stopped them both. It made everything real- it made everything official.

"Greg..." Nick slammed his hand against the steering wheel in front of him. "What did you do?"

"It...It happened once." He took a deep breath leaning back in his seat his eyes focused on the clear skies above them wondering where she was now- what it was that she was doing. "And I told her...she needs to try and work things out with Grissom- that we needed to stop whatever was going on before it went too far..." He confessed realising that it was Nick he was talking to- one of his best friends.

"It went too far the moment you went to bed with her." Nick corrected.

"I know... I shouldn't have...but I love her...I've always loved her Nick." He sounded as hopeless as he felt he realised.

"And how does Sara feel about you?" Nick asked attempting to calm himself. He realised that he was not one to judge- he could not make comments about falling in love with the wrong person because he had been there- he had already made that mistake.

"I...I think she loves me too." Greg's voice was quiet. He was scared to admit because what if he was wrong, what if Sara didn't love him at all she just needed someone to make her feel better, to make her feel at home after everything that had happened.

Most of all Greg was worried that what they felt for each other would wear off for Sara and she'd walk away from him.

He realised that he couldn't bear to have his heart broken again.

"If you think she loves you then why are you telling her to go and work things out with Grissom, dumbass?" Nick attempted to understand where he was coming from- what it was that Greg was doing by sacrificing their happiness.

"What if I'm wrong?" He sounded scared and it helped Nick soften his tone.

"Have you looked her in the eye and asked her to be with you- properly- not like this?" He questioned wondering how much the two of them had spoken about what was going on.

"No..." Greg shrugged. He felt guilty- when Sara had offered to break things off with Grissom so they could be together properly he had just turned her away.

"Well...you know what you need to do."


	28. Chapter 28

**In the Darkest Light**

**(28)**

"Hey Archie, we came up empty on prints...please tell me you found something on CCTV of this guy..." Sara sauntered into the AV lab her notes firmly in her hand as she flicked through the stapled sheets of results Hodges had handed her.

"I'm working on something...take a seat it might be a while." Archie informed her; his expression clearly that of exhaustion.

"Something is better than nothing..." She smiled at him.

"Sara...there's something I've been meaning to say to you..." Archie turned to face her- hoping she wouldn't shut him down.

"Oh no, this doesn't sound good." She attempted to keep the conversation light but she knew that something serious was coming.

"I just want to say...I think you're amazing." He blurted out.

"You're pretty great too Arch." Sara responded.

"No...I mean...I saw...I saw those tapes...and the fact that you made it through all of that and that you're still here...it's incredible." He took a deep breath. "I know what the gossips around here are like but don't pay any attention to them because they clearly have no idea. That's all I wanted to say..."

"Thank you..." Sara placed her hand on his, with a genuine smile.

"No need..." Archie beamed back. "But we should get back to work before Catherine catches us out."

They processed the footage and the rest of the day seemed to pass by in haze. Their case had not perplexed them but it had proved to be enough of a distraction for Sara- the time while she'd been working she hadn't thought about the conversation she knew was coming with Grissom. She hadn't thought of Greg's rejection.

But as she turned to head towards the showers she ran into the man she had been hoping to avoid. Greg stood before her with a guilty expression; he obviously had been thinking about her and the decision he had made all day.

"Sara..." her name escaped his lips in barely a whisper.

"What do you want Greg?" She spat at him as she tried to step past him but he stepped in front of her again.

"I want to talk to you..." He spoke softly, his eyes clearly indicating how he felt but Sara couldn't face having her heart broken by him again.

"I'm sorry but I'm all talked out." She managed to step past him this time heading towards the shower stall at the end.

"Sara I love you..." he shouted after her and it stopped Sara in her tracks. She turned to face him with a look of anguish.

"No Greg...You don't get to say that. You don't get to tell me you care about me." She shouted at him clearly fighting back tears.

"Sara...please...Listen to me..." Greg stepped closer to her. "I love you...I want to make this work"

"All of a sudden you want me?" She snorted stepping back as he closed in on her. "You threw me aside because it was complicated...and now you sense my marriage is over...you'll happily take me back?"

"Sara it's nothing to do with that-"Greg started but she cut him off quickly.

"I'm not an object- you can't just use me when you feel like. Lie to me and tell me you love me and then walk away Greg. You either want me or you don't. And you said you didn't so I did what you said and walked away. There is nothing more to say..." Sara stopped talking her words catching in her chest as she realised she'd hit the back wall.

"I know...And I'm sorry for what I said before. I'm sorry I pushed you away...Sara I love you...I want you... all of you..." He stepped closer, his torso brushing hers as he whispered in her ear.

Greg pulled away their bodies still touching, their eyes met and it was as if something clicked. They didn't exchange any words; he placed his lips hungrily on hers, his hands searching her body. Greg pulled them into the shower stall they were closest too and pressed Sara up against the door as he locked it.

Sara reached behind him a switched the shower on just in case someone happened to wander in drenching herself and Greg in the process. He gasped into her neck at the feeling of the hot water trickling down his back as he fumbled with the buttons on her shirt. He tossed it aside exposing the lace of her black bra, his lips on the swell of her breasts. Sara slid in her hand in Greg's unbuttoned shirt gliding over his slick skin the feel of the muscle so different to her husband's body.

He removed the shirt completely throwing it aside exposing his torso completely to her wandering eyes. Sara flicked her tongue down his neck, chest and continued further down until she was kneeling in front of him- she undid his belt before pushing his boxers and trousers out of the way. Taking him in her hand she created a tight fist at the head twisting gently before she put him in her mouth.

Greg groaned at the feeling as Sara began a rhythm her hands acting as an extension of her mouth, her tongue tracing patterns on his length. She pulled herself up looking him in the eye as she stepped out of her jeans. He pulled her into his arms again planting his lips on her neck as he helped he slipped a hand into her panties. She couldn't stop the moan that was bubbling up in her stomach as he rubbed over her. He ridded of the panties pushing her firmly against the wall wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Ready?" He asked breathlessly. Sara was biting her lip unable to speak- she simply just nodded her approval and with one quick motion he entered her. They were still for a moment before he began thrusting into her steadily increasing the speed and depth of his thrusts. He could feel her growing increasingly tighter around him her breathing erratic, small pants escaping her lips with every one of his movements. Greg snaked a hand between them rubbing over her clit in small circles wanting nothing more than for her to come undone in his arms.

"Greg..." His name escaped her lips in a small scream as she came, clenching around him over and over as her body melted completely into his embrace. He followed soon after releasing himself as she rested her head on his shoulder as her breathing slowed down.

They pulled apart their eyes meeting as they attempted to silently discuss what had just happened and what it meant.

Sara planted a gentle kiss on his cheek before gathering up her clothes and leaving him standing alone reeling from everything he had managed to feel.

She turned to look at him and their eyes met meaningfully as neither one of them could think of the right things to say in that moment.

Without words they came to an understanding- it was time to do this properly.


	29. Chapter 29

I think 4 am brings out too much honesty in me...I'm not sure what happened here I just started writing and for some reason I didn't stop.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Please review.

**In The Darkest Light**

**(29) **

After Sara had dressed herself she glanced in the small rectangular mirror on the inside of her locker door. She wondered when that person looking back at her had become so unrecognisable. Deep down, she wondered if this was who she had always been. Perhaps, she hadn't given herself enough time to grieve for the loss of her parents, mourn the harrowing ashes of her childhood. All of this time she had been forcing herself to be as put together as she could when if she was completely honest she was no different to any other victim of abuse; broken.

She looked exhausted; she could barely remember the last time that she had slept. All of these memories had been churned up and the nightmares had slowly started coming back. Those clips that merged with reality and memories rather than dreams because as much as she could ignore them those things had happened to her would play through her mind. She lifted her shirt glancing at the scars that dusted her stomach and her hips grimacing at the sight. In the end no matter how much she pretended it had been her body that had endured all of those things. She glanced up in the mirror again, pulling her shirt down- out of sight out of mind she would remind herself every time she showered or dressed. She looked frail.

If she was honest with herself she didn't understand what either Grissom or Greg saw in her.

She was fragile.

Small things seemed to be destroying her, she could barely remember the last time she had let herself cry like this or break down like this.

Sara considered the last time she had fallen into the trap of self hate- the scars on her thighs were evidence of all of those feelings become conscious. What was she doing this time to hurt herself?

Self sabotage seemed to come naturally- she didn't know the last time that she had just let herself be happy.

It had all just felt so wrong.

Life had taught her that if there was anything to anticipate that was thing would eventually fall apart, going wrong, people walking away and breaking your heart. She had never had anyone to count on before. And after all of that time she had convinced herself that she didn't need anyone else because letting someone in just opened up the chance of being hurt.

And she'd been hurt more than enough.

She wondered if Tom Gibson would have been pleased with the way she had turned out- after all it was all of his abuse that had led her to be the person she was. It was his constant reminder that in the end she'd only be wanted for one thing that had led to her drowning her sorrows in bars and going home with the first guy that asked when she was in college. It was his encouragement that sometimes it was okay to harm yourself that same belief had stuck around and led her to take a razor blade to her own skin.

It was his fault that she didn't trust anyone- particularly not herself.

After all of these years of pretending that everything was fine that she was doing okay was she not giving into the same behaviour patterns?

Had she not sabotaged herself by cheating on her husband?

Had she not been hurting herself by not sleeping or eating?

Weren't the angry, red scratch marks on her skin enough to speak of what she was worth?

It felt as if she had let her world fall apart all over again, that she taken an active part in breaking things down simply because she knew it was going to happen anyway.

"Sara..." Greg's voice woke her from her thoughts, bringing her senses back to reality. It was in that moment as if she had been caught in a rainstorm. There were other people involved in everything that happened, people she cared about, people she claimed to love.

She turned to face him taking a deep breath for courage. His brown eyes were shining with an emotion she couldn't detect, his hands hung at his side as if he had appeared after battle his body heavy with defeat. He looked as exhausted as she did.

"I want to make this work. I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy." He took another step towards her. "I want to do this properly...If you're not ready to end your marriage then I understand I can wait...but I don't want to keep going like this knowing that we're hurting someone else- that what we are doing is wrong."

"I understand." Sara nodded crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't think he...loves me anymore...We've been over for a long time...We're meeting to talk about things over breakfast. I'll tell him..."

"Sara...you don't have to rush into making a decision." Greg assured her not wanting Sara to make a rash decision and then decide she regretted it.

"I need to do this." She insisted. "I can't keep lying anymore."

"Okay..." He gently placed his hand on her jaw stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Can I ask you a question?" her voice was quiet, meek almost. "Why do you love me?"

"Because you're beautiful..." Greg stepped even closer whispering to her. "Because you're strong, passionate, intelligent, and flawed in the most perfect ways..."

He pressed his forehead against Sara's his arms wrapping around her waist as he did so, his hand caressing the small of her back. Greg placed his lips on hers kissing her softly waiting for her to respond. She eventually did but it was through a sense of defeat- she had finally acknowledged whatever it was she felt for Greg was not something that she was going to be able to ignore.

"I have to go." She muttered to him as she pulled away, her eyes focused on the floor.

"Okay..." Greg pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll speak to you later."

Once Sara walked out of the lab it seemed to be sinking in that today could be the day that her marriage was officially over.

And then what was going to happen?

As much as she wanted to be able to make things work with Greg she knew that one day she would crumble- she would self destruct. The future just seemed like an endless ocean of uncertainty and after all of this time Sara didn't want to feel like she was drowning again.


	30. Chapter 30

**In the Darkest Light**

**(30) **

Sara didn't know how much time it had been but she was frozen in her seat; she still had her seatbelt on. She could see Grissom in the window of the cafe. He was on his third cup of coffee, like usual he made chit chat with the waitress before glancing around nervously, checking his watch. It fascinated her watching him like this. It reminded her of the first time they had met- how as a student she had watched him work and lecture getting about his life barely noticing her. The sadness weighed even heavier on her heart as she recalled these memories.

How had they gotten so far away from those feelings?

How had he become a stranger to her?

With a deep breath for courage she finally stepped out of her car into the Las Vegas heat. Had this been a movie she would have expected a rainy sky outside as she walked to the end of what had felt like a life time of commitment to each other. But this wasn't a movie- this was so very real. Every emotion, every heart beat, every thought that had crossed her mind was not someone else's- this was all her own.

As she slid into the booth her husband had picked she let the fact that this would be the last time she would call him that sink in. With a weak smile she ordered herself a cup of coffee. This was it.

"I know...Things haven't been working between us." Grissom began with a sorrowful look, his eyes casting over the bustling location he had chosen for this particular encounter. Even though they had been physically apart for so long cutting the supposedly emotional attachment they had developed for each other seemed to hurt more than he had expected. He had been through break ups before, he'd had his heart broken before but this was different. This time it was Sara.

"I agree." She nodded taking a sip from the hot coffee in her mug.

"The distance...it's not helping." He kept talking, his words nervously appearing on his lips. "Sara...I don't know how to say this to you but I think...We need to..."

"We need to stop being miserable" She finished the sentence. "And admit defeat."

"Yes." Grissom took a gulp of his coffee before looking her in the eye. He realised that it was time to confess- time to admit just how broken things had become. "I never thought I'd fall out of love with you..."

"I know..." She nodded, her eyes meeting his with an understanding. "Neither did I"

"But it happened...And I don't want to lie to you..." Another gulp of bad coffee "I think I have feelings for someone else..."

"Oh" Sara was surprised at his confession but she realised that it didn't hurt. "Tell me about her..."

Grissom glanced up his eyes wide with surprised with her response but he couldn't help but smile at her. Sara had always dealt with such painful things with everything she could muster.

"She's a fellow lecturer..." He took a deep breath. "She's an expert in forensic psychology, a specialist in the behaviour pattern analysis."

"That...sounds interesting." Sara nodded.

"She is...But Sara that doesn't stop me caring about you. If you need me to stay until things are stable again. If you need someone to help you through this...I can stay for as long as you need me." He assured her.

"That's very nice of you to offer but Grissom I have to be honest too..." She took a deep breath realising that she was about to confess her worst down fall to him.

"What is that you want to tell me?" he looked concerned.

"I think I'm in love with someone else." Sara admitted.

"Oh. May I ask who?" Grissom stirred the dark content of the mug in front of him, his expression almost unreadable.

"It's...Greg." Sara knew it was wrong to tell him but she needed to be has honest as he had been with her. She needed to walk away from this knowing that she had said all that needed to be said, that she was not hiding any from Grissom. "He's been so supportive throughout all of this...I just...It just happened...Sorry..."

"You don't have to say sorry...I understand." He took her hand gently in his own, even though it hurt to know that a part of their down fall had come in the shape of a friend. Grissom knew deep down that Greg had always loved Sara, that he would do anything to make her happy. That, Greg, would make all of the sacrifices that he hadn't been able to.

"Can I ask you one thing?" Grissom unfolded the napkin that lay abandoned beside his hand.

"Of course" She attempted to calm herself as she anticipated his question.

"Why didn't you tell about everything that had happened to you?" His voice was shaking slightly and she realised she couldn't tell if it was from frustration or simply just nerves.

"I...was fed up of people seeing me as a victim...I didn't want them to look at me that way anymore so I didn't tell anyone." She tried to answer the question as well as she could but deep down she knew that it would have been easier had she shared her experience.

"I don't see you a victim..." He took her hand in his own. "I see you as a person who's suffered a great deal but nothing less."

"I walked into the lab today and it felt as if everyone was staring at me...It was like they had forgotten who I was. I just want to be respected, not pitied. I've been pitied enough Gil. And you loves me for who I was before you knew, I was scared that if I told you, that you wouldn't see me as the same person. That you wouldn't want me anymore..." She let all of those small doubts, all of those worries that she wouldn't be accepted disappear between them as she said all of the words that had been lingering in her mind every since all of her sordid history had been dragged up.

"Sara..." He removed his glasses before replacing them; a mannerism she had found endearing over the years. "...I don't know how you would think I'd think any less of you if I knew what you'd been through..."

"Because...I think less of me" She confessed slightly breathlessly as tears stung her eyes, she held them back with everything she could muster. "Some of the things I did...were disgusting Gil...I was a hideous person"

"No...You were a child, you were supposed to be protected but you weren't none of these things are you fault Sara- you have to understand" He spoke sympathetically.

"I know, and we say these things to victims all the time, remind them that it's not their fault...But why does it feel like it is?" She glanced out of the window wanting to look anywhere but into his eyes. "I'm sorry...I'll stop talking..."

"Sara you don't have to you. You can talk to me about anything- I'm still here for you. I hope that after all of this we can still be friends." Grissom offered her all of the honesty he could muster.

"I hope so too" Sara muttered back.

Their eyes met and they realised that there was no longer that spark and that chemistry that made them desire each other but all of these years had left behind something far more important; trust. After all of the ups and downs in their relationship they had learnt to trust and respect each other. Those very things vital in the conversation they'd had.

They continued talking for a while, and it felt to them as if rather than losing a spouse they were acquiring a new friend. Afterwards Sara and Grissom returned home- she helped him pack the few items that were left from the house. She kissed him one last time before he climbed into the cab on the way back to the life he had created. To a woman he could potentially love. To a place where he finally felt like he could fit.


	31. Chapter 31

Another warning- discussions of abuse/rape I hope I don't upset anyone.

**In the Darkest Light**

**(31) **

Greg was lounging on the sofa with a beer in hand, his eyes focused on a game he wasn't paying any attention to when the door bell rang. He picked himself up off the sofa, to his surprise when he swung the front door open there in front of him was Sara.

She was standing in front of him in a clean set of clothes, she'd taken a bath washed away all of the doubt she had been experiencing before she came here. For the first time she felt completely sure of what she wanted as their eyes met.

"Sara...Come in..." Greg stepped out of the way. She took a deep breath turning to him slowly before she began speaking.

"Grissom and I have talked things out- we've decided that our marriage is over we've both decided to move on." She informed him slightly nonchalantly. "Greg...I want you to promise me that this is really what you want because if you're the slightest bit unsure- I'll walk out of that door and you won't have to deal with me again."

Greg didn't say a word she stepped closer to her and pulled her into his arms before he planted a passionate kiss on her lips, his fingers ran through her hair as his body connected against hers.

"I'm sure." He said breathlessly pulling away and offering her his hand. Without a moment's hesitation Sara took it, letting him lead her to his bedroom. Greg reached for the light switch to turn them off but she stopped him.

"No...I want to be honest with you." This was a new start; this was her chance to come clean about everything that had happened. With someone she knew wouldn't judge her or turn her away for the scars she had.

"If that's what you want" He whispered.

They laid down on the bed face to face their desire to simply just be close overriding whatever lust they felt; this was about so much more.

"Tell me..." Greg muttered to her, reaching out to move her hair away from her face. Her dark eyes looked back at him confused to his request.

"I want to know everything...every story behind every scar..." he spoke softly. Sara took a deep breath as she prepared herself for what was to come before she began unbuttoning her shirt. She slipped the thin fabric off and placed it aside.

"You can go as slowly as you need..." Greg assured her squeezing her hand, before kissing her palm.

"These ones..." Sara gently ran her hand down her side. "We from the first time I tried to resist Tom's drug dealers...a cut for every time I fought back, said no or cried"

Greg reached out his hand, holding it a few inches above Sara's skin waiting for her nod of approval. When it finally came he ran his fingertips over the scars, she shivered between his touch. Greg moved even closer kissing the skin softly, his hand not leaving her body.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked worried that he'd upset her.

"No..." The word came out with a breath, fluttering in the air between them. "This one..." Sara ran her fingertips across the faint scar on her stomach. "Is from when my father lost his temper after getting to the bottom of a bottle of bourbon."

Again Greg inched forward to the area, he hand his finger tips over the faint silvery scar before kissing the skin as delicately as he could. Sara met his eye meaningfully; she turned onto her side exposing the skin of her back.

"This...I did myself..." Sara indicated to the small bit of skin just above her shoulder blade where years of repeated scratches had damaged the skin. It felt bumpy, and a part of him wondered if he was hurting her but she reminded silent. Greg began at the top of her neck following her spine planting gentle kisses all the way down to the waist band of her jeans. He pulled away waiting for her to respond. Sara turned to face him again, tears in her eyes as she met his lips with her own, her fingers tangling with his. She silently reached for the button on her jeans next shimming out of them before also placing them aside.

"I did this myself too..." She glanced down embarrassedly at her thighs.

"Hey..." Greg titled her chin up, kissing her once more. "There is nothing wrong with them" He indicated to the faint parallel lines. He pulled Sara into his arm, tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

"You're beautiful Sara..." Greg assured her holding her tightly in his arms. Sara kissed his neck, one hand slowly unbuttoning his shirt, slipping beneath the fabric gliding over his skin.

"Make love to me..." She whispered to Greg.

"Is that what you want? We don't have to..." Again he wanted to make sure she was comfortable with what was happening.

"Yes..." Sara realised in that moment she had ever felt more beautiful. Never had she imagined baring all of her scars like she had done would lead her want someone's hands on her.

Greg removed his shirt before he rolled on top of Sara kissing her slowly, his hands playing with the soft curls in her hair, his lips moving like wild fire down her neck. She snaked her hands between them undoing his trousers, disappearing beneath the waistband.

"Sara..." He groaned as she flexed her hand in a tight fist around him, changing the strength of her grip as she slid her hand up and down in the continuous motion twisting at the top as her other hand began the same rhythm. He sighed into their kiss as Sara sped up her movements, her body arching into his touch.

"I need to be inside you..." He muttered into her ear; Sara nodded pulling her hands out of his boxers helping him remove his trousers and then her panties. His eyes glanced down at her nervously not wanting to hurt her.

"Now Greg..." Sara said assaying her approval.

Greg slowly moved into her mesmerised by the way her back arched up off the bed, her lips parted erotically as a moan escaped them. He began rocking against her, planting a heavy kiss on her lips. Sara kissed him back bending her legs at the knees moving in time with him. She grew progressively tighter around him, her breathing erratic, her heart pounding as her blood coursed through her veins. She sped up her movements her body exploding with the release of tension, her walls clenching around Greg. He was spent after a few more thrusts rolling on to his back giving them a few moments breathing space before he pulled Sara into his arms.

"I love you..." He said knowing that this time there was nothing standing between them and that they had overcome all the barriers in their way.

"I love you too..." Sara replied settling into Greg's arms in a way she never imagined that she would have been able to. And for the first time in a long time she realised that perhaps they both could be happy.

He felt like home.

He felt like so much more.


	32. Chapter 32

Please review let me know what you think.

**In the Darkest Light**

**(32) **

The morning light clung to their skin as they woke to a fresh start- the first day of the rest of their lives. Greg planted a gentle kiss on Sara's forehead before he slid out from beneath her, rubbing his eyes attempting to adjust to the light. He turned back to face her with a sleepy smile.

"I'll go get us some breakfast...Just make yourself comfortable..." He spoke softly as Sara stretched out in bed; she just nodded curling up. Sara she picked up Greg's shirt from the floor and pulled it on quickly buttoning it up before climbing back into bed.

Greg returned with a tray containing hot coffee and toast; he smiled warmly at Sara placing the tray down in front of her crossed legs. He sat himself crossed legged opposite her down picking up one of the mugs in his hand, indicating for Sara to do the same.

"So what do you want to do today?" He asked taking a sip from his mug. Sara gripped onto her mug slightly tighter as she considered her answer.

"I...want to see Tom..." She announced slightly nervously. Greg nodded understanding that Sara probably required closure considering everything that had happened.

"Are you sure, you're ready for that?" He asked after clearing his throat.

"I think so..." Sara nodded her eyes focused on the dark liquid in the mug in her hands. "I've thought about this day so many times...I've thought through the things I'd say to him over and over again...I have the chance...I'm scared if I don't say anything...I'll regret it..."

"I understand..." Greg gave her a sad smile. "I'll come with you..."

"Thank you..." Sara smiled back at him.

They finished breakfast talking about the future- that chances they had to finally begin building their life together. It felt strange to them that they had survived everything that had been thrown their way in the past few weeks. Sara had never thought that she would have another chance at love; she had let herself settle into what her marriage had become but now she could see that there were so many more years ahead to rebuild all of the things that had fallen apart.

Greg held Sara's hand as they walked into central holding nervously checking again that this was in fact what she wanted to do. She nodded indicating for him to wait outside as she entered the small, grim looking room that had been set up for her visit.

Tom leered at her as she sat herself down, nervously clasping her hands on the table between them. His eyes seemed to be questioning her about why she was there- the case had been closed- he had been arrested.

"What is it that you want Sara baby?" He asked with a smirk leaning back in his chair.

"To see you rot in here till you die..." She spat back at him her eyes narrowing as she attempted to run through all of the words she had planned on saying to him in her mind.

"You always were a feisty one...I guess it's what made you the most fun..." He gave a short humourless laugh.

"And that's what's going to make you fun to the hardened prison guys you're going to be encountered on in the inside Tom..." She felt a small sense of satisfaction from the comment. "Why did you do it Tom?"

"Do what?" He raised an eyebrow, his expression suggesting that he was bored.

"Force us do those things?" She asked, her voice was quiet and it was clear that she was unsure of herself.

"Man's got to make a living..." He shrugged clearly not caring what impact it had made on the children he had forced into prostitution, drug addiction and various other self destructive behaviours.

"Why did you keep the tapes?" Sara fidgeted with her hands.

"You saw them..." He guessed from her response.

"I still have nightmares about everything you did to me..." She forced herself to hold back tears, exposing her thoughts like this was hard enough she wanted to minimise the vulnerability he could see. "All of the things I had to see...Michelle still has all of those scars you gave her..."

"Sara, where are you going with this?" He asked not understanding why she was here, why she was talking at him like this.

"I hate you." She blurted out. "After all of this time- I never got to say it to you. I hate you Tom. I hate you for raping me. I hate you for beating me. I hate you for giving me that first hit of meth. I hate you for handing me around like a party favour. I hate you for how shit I feel about myself..." Sara snapped all of her thoughts bubbling up and turning into words before she had a chance to take them back.

Tom didn't say a word she started back blankly at her which only seemed to frustrate Sara more- in my mind she had imagined this moment differently. She had expected him to taunt her to draw out more of the feelings she had hidden deep down but there was nothing in his eyes to indicate anything tangible.

"After all of this time I thought telling you how I felt would help...But it doesn't..." She started speaking the disappointment clear in her voice. "It makes no different what I say to you now because all of those things happened...there is nothing that can make them go away."

And with that Sara stood up, her eyes washing over the man in front of her one last time before she turned around and walked away from him for the last time.

Greg stood outside her hands tucked awkwardly in the pockets of his dark trousers as he leant against the wall; his brown eyes filled with concern as Sara stepped out into the cool hallway. He slowly made his way towards her pulling her into his arms.

"You did it..." His whispered in her ear as he rubbed her back.

Sara simply just nodded and she realised that after all of this time confronting him made a small amount of impact on how she felt- but that small amount was enough for her. She had needed to look Tom in the eye and remind of the things he had done to her. She had needed to tell him how much she resented him for everything that he had put her through. And now she had done- she knew that she could walk away. She could never see him again and not regret the things she had not said.

It felt like a weight off her shoulders knowing that he had been forced to acknowledge the revulsion that he had created.

"It's over..." Sara muttered to Greg pulling closer to him, sinking into the comfort of his embrace.


	33. Chapter 33

So it has most certainly been a journey- but we've officially reached the end.

Please review let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

**In the Darkest Light**

**Three Months Later**

**(Epilogue) **

"Greg, hurry up, you're late" Nick accused down the phone pouring milk into his coffee. "Your Mrs is getting all agitated to see you." He laughed at the scowl on Sara's face.

"Am not" She said loud enough to know that Greg would hear her.

"Aw, you've hurt his poor little feelings." Nick laughed again placing the phone aside moving up in their booth to let Catherine and Langston grab seats.

"Correction- you've hurt his feelings." Sara smirked shovelling a fork dripping with honey and pastry into her mouth.

"Whose feelings have you hurt?" Catherine asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Greg's" Sara and Nick replied in unison.

"Ah..." The blonde gave a look of knowledge, ordering herself a cup of coffee.

"How was your case?" Langston asked, with a charming smile.

"Yeah...I know...we smell like decomp." Sara rolled her eyes running her fingers through her still damp hair.

"That's not what I was insinuating...but now that you mention it..." Langston continued knowing full well that he was irritating her.

"You're both hilarious..." Nick joined in with Sara's disgruntled attitude. "You two go to roll out to the Tangiers while we got a floater in Lake Mead...I say next time we draw straws"

"Well that's benefit of being boss Nicky...don't need to draw straws..." Catherine smiled sweetly joining in.

"Sorry I'm late guys..." Greg appeared breathlessly sliding in next to Sara, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Late as always sleeping beauty..." Nick joked passing him a mug of coffee.

"I am nothing if not persistent" The younger man commented. "And any way you're just better tonight wasn't your night off..." He joked.

It had been three months since they had closed the case that had brought Sara's past into the light and as much as they couldn't believe it things felt normal. Despite the initial caution with which people approached Sara it soon became obvious that she was the same person she had always been. And despite everything she found herself feeling like the person she had been before everything had been revealed.

The change that had occurred in Sara and Greg's relationship had taken some adjusting to, but soon enough no one batted an eyelid at the affection they showed each other. Nick had cooled down- his anger subsiding- once he'd seen how happy they made each other. Catherine had remained silent on the issue realising that it was for the best since Grissom and Sara were no longer in love with each other and they would have simply been breaking their own hearts by staying together. She had simply just given them a nod and a small smile of approval when they had explained that they were moving in together.

They had all received letters informing them of his new relationship, and settled life in Paris. The fact that he was happy seemed to ease the sense of betrayal they had all felt in accepting Sara and Greg's new romance.

Everything seemed to be working out and going back to the pace of normality they all recognised.

They ate breakfast and slowly one by one disappeared leaving Sara and Greg together in the booth wrapped up in each other's arms. The world seemed to slow down as they let the comfort of their situation sink in.

"We made it..." Greg muttered to her, a smile of acknowledgement spreading on his lips. She tangled her fingers with his, gripping hold on his hand.

"We did..." Sara muttered back kissing Greg gently on the lips.

Everything had fallen into place or at least that was how it felt. Neither one of them had ever imagined feeling as content as they did together all of the hurt, the waiting that it had taken to get to this point seemed to simply just melt away...

**The End **


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